maitre'd Share definition Flag A dried piece of snot hanging from ones nostril blowing back and forth with every inhale and exhale. Like a maitre'd at the front of a restaurant. Dave's date was going well with Kate until the maitre'd scared her shitless. maitre'd by Eric GGGG November 20, 2006 0 0 Get merch Get the maitre'd mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch