hipstey 

A hippy-hipster. Rarely seen in the wild, this is a burgeoning sect of hipsters and whether or not they will be able to flourish in this environment is yet to be seen.

A hipstey is defined as a overly stylized self-proclaimed hippy (note: this is an important distinction to remember because the traditional hipster would never, under any circumstance admit to being a part of any group - and would then insist they "fucking hate hipsters") eagerly pretentious about their (likely newly-found) "lifestyle."

They are "purists" "with open minds and hearts," but these are merely attributes spurred by the need to fit in at music festivals.

Companies have recently started to recognize them as a demographic by introducing products like "Cannibis Flower Cologne Spray" or any recycled product that mentions it's recycled in large print.

This phenomenon is known as "Hipstey Peacocking."

Lindsay Lohan at Coachella is a stage-two hipstey.

hipstey by white-people-probologist May 25, 2012

hipster milk 

A beverage consumed primarily by hipsters. It consists of the hand-squeezed breast milk of organic, free-range, grain-fed soya beans. Hipster milk is free of all preservatives, artificial flavours, artificial colors, and pretense. Hipster milk is certified green. Soya beans are not harmed in the production of hipster milk.

"Hipster milk on sale this week: $6 / 1L eco-carton."

hipster milk by hipster_of_the_month February 6, 2013

Hipster mullet

A hipster mullet is a hairstyle or hairdo, similar in volume to the rockabilly mullets sported by country legend Billy Ray Cyrus and TV star Richard Dean Anderson (better known as MacGyver) in the early 90s. The hipster mullet is an updated version of the rockabilly mullet, but infused with "alternative" elements such as neon highlights or extreme differentials between the length of the mullet piece (hair at top of head) and the hair on the sides and back of head, which might be shaved down to mere stubble. By shaving the back and sides down, the mullet piece is emphasized, thereby increasing the irony of the hairdo.

The hipster mullet has been adopted by hipster males and females alike. While a male hipster mullet and a female hipster mullet are similar, a male hipster mullet is often accompanied by additional moustaches, moustachios, beards, goatees, chinstraps, and designer stubble. For both males and females, the hipster mullet is typically accented by "larger than life" sun spectacles, worn at all times of year and in all light levels. Stiegl and Pabst are thought to provide nutrients such as provitamin B5 that improve mullet volume and sheen.

The hipster mullet is best observed in urban parks, in independent cafes, at alternative music gigs, and at college art shows, during the working hours of non-hipsters.

The hipster mullet is closely related to other updated hairstyles, such as the hipster mohawk and the hipster rattail.

"Daschiell, did you read my Tweet from five minutes ago??"

"Sorry Sabine, I'm still trying to update my blog on the weak wi-fi signal that everyone in this independent cafe is stealing from the Starbucks nextdoor. What was your Tweet about?"

"It was about how Bitsy and Flavius are sporting matching hipster mullets today! They are practically identical, except for the purple curls in hers and the neck beard growing out of his!"

"I hope they didn't see that you called them hipsters! They'll go apoplectic!"

Hipster mullet by hipster_of_the_month May 8, 2013

natural hipster 

A hipster that becomes a hipster through natural events. He most likely attends a liberal arts college or lives in an urban environment. Unlike most hipsters who are trying to fit the hipster scene, this type of hipster is the scene and creates it.

fake hipster: got a new ironic t-shirt today!

natural hipster: I made that t-shirt

natural hipster by hillert November 6, 2013

Hipsterbation

When one masturbates with their left hand because everyone else masturbates with their right.

"Everyone shakes with their right hand, so you can't let your right be soft! That's why I masturbate with my left hand."

"Wait, so you masturbate with your left hand because no one else does?"

"Yeah"

"Hipsterbation, bro. Stoppit."

Hipsterbation by FreeKayTeeKay March 8, 2012

Hipster Betrayal 

When someone begins to dislike a band, movie, tv show or any other element of popular culture solely based on the fact that it has become popular.

This is something that hipsters do on a regular bases in order to remain relevant. It is the ultimate betrayal because at one point you consider this band or movie to be amazing and now that it has gain recognition instead of being happy you reject it and call it "mainstream".

Hispter: I used to like Arcade Fire but then they became so main stream. I can't even listen to their music any more.

Non-Hipster: Arcade Fire is exactly the same as they used to be, you just doing the Hipster Betrayal.

Hipster Betrayal by Mighty_Arrow February 4, 2013

Hipster kiss 

When two hipsters use telepathy to declare a romantic interest in one another. Words, a peck on the cheek, a reassuring touch, or even a simple smile would betray emotion, thereby running the risk that onlookers might suspect the two hipsters are enjoying the moment truthfully (rather than ironically).

"Lars, do you see how Marius and Clementine are staring coldly at one another from across the room, without speaking or motion of any kind? Do you see how dead her eyes look behind those turquoise spectacles?"

"Yes, Niko, I do. What's their deal?"

"It's a hipster kiss. They'll be engaged as quickly as you can Tweet 'Free art show! BYOB!!' "

Hipster kiss by hipster_of_the_month May 7, 2013