ejail

The condition of being enslaved by the contents of your inbox for an inordinately long period of time. This typically takes place in one of three situations.

1. When returning to work from holidays to find nine million people need an answer from you RIGHT NOW.

2. When your ex gets shitfaced and spends all night writing you their life story, then promises to post compromising videos of you together if you don't reply to them in equally excruciating detail.

3. When it's the holiday season and out of politeness you have to send insincere good wishes to innumerable relatives, acquaintances and business contacts who you haven't so much as farted near since the same time the previous year.

Sorry Bill, I can't come to your cocaine and strippers party. I'm facing three days of ejail after this fucking conference.

ejail by Gun Arvidssen December 27, 2009

email tennis 

A seemingly endless interchange of emails without any useful outcome.

"I'm getting hacked off with this email tennis ...where's it getting us ?"
"Let's end the email tennis. What do you REALLY want?"

email tennis by Marshallasthefish December 11, 2007

per my previous email 

Can you fucking read?

Client: Can you meet tomorrow at 10 to discuss the project.

Me: Per my previous email, I am not available tomorrow.

per my previous email by KBomb February 14, 2018

female email 

A Female E-mail is when somebody sends you a single text that is so long it turns into multiple text messages.

"Dude what the Fuck did you have to female email me like that for? It made no sense. Just call me next time it will take both of us less time to figure out what you are trying to tell me," you say.
"Whats a female email?" he asks.
"It is when you send me a message over 150 characters that is a bitch to read, like you just did. It was five messages scattered in a fucked up order! It took me five minutes to figure out what u were saying." you say.

female email by wiscoflorida January 15, 2014

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NO DONT DO IT

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Sign up Enter your email to get Urban Word of the Day free every morning. Your email address... Subscribe by Tee_Kay_ March 6, 2022

Fake Email Job 

Gainful, probably fully remote employment where your only responsibility is to respond to emails. Fake email jobs can be accomplished whilst drinking at a bar, or from a beach in the Bahamas. It's not a fake email job if you actually contribute directly to the company's product or service, nor if you hold an executive role where your decisions have a real impact on lots of people. Fake email jobs are more in line with middle-management roles.

Enrique used to be a software developer, but after five years at IBM he got promoted to a fake email job and had a daughter. Now his whole job consists of sending pithy emails between diaper changes and trips to the park with his family.

Fake Email Job by cinemarob1 September 16, 2021