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dictective 

From (detective)

Somebody who can make an early identification of a dickhead before complete posse infiltration has occurred.
Typically used with the preface "You are not much of a..."
Steve: Hey Stella, who's this douch you brought to Sunday beers?
Stella: I know right, I thought he would be more of a happy drunk.
Steve: Aw shit man, you ain't much of a dictective.
dictective by ladiesman_2I7 November 24, 2009
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Private detective 

Junior grimes, or atleast what people refer to you as if you take illegal measures and unconventional means to accomplish a task such as cracking a case on infidelity or murder, it’s a reference the well known private detective known as “gumshoe grimes” what the papers call junior grimes as he stuck to people when working cases.

someone who follows others and gather information on order to solve a case or situation which demands the investigators (junior) help is what a PI pretty much is...

Junior grimes however, takes this a STEP FURTHER though even that’s a major understatement. young and full of anger, he’s not exactly the calmest of detectives and uses what ever means necessary to solve the task even if it means sacrificing his own chance at a happy life and those around him for there’s no rest for grimes as the world needs him when any case goes unsolved.

Junior grimes aka “June wick” or “darnell grimes”

Private investigator give itself a good name when junior grimes matches with it.

Figure out what that means
“there’s no one that solves crimes like grimes”

___

Woman 1: omg my sisters missing

Woman 2: wait I know who to call

Woman 1: you do?

Junior grimes: what seems to be the problem?

Woman 1: it’s my sister!

Junior grimes: not to worry, for no one better to call then mr grimes!

Woman 2: see? I told you, he’s the best

Woman 1: wow

___

Junior grimes is the greatest private detective OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

Detective Mark Hoffman

A key character in the Saw franchise whom Jigsaw, aka John Kramer, appoints to carry on his work of "testing" people to see if they are worthy of life. He is brilliantly played by Costas Mandylor, whom many consider a rather underrated actor. Hoffman has a very cold personality, yet most don't see this when he portrays himself as a hard-working police officer, but behind that mask lies a killer hell bent on vengeance and filled with anger over the loss of his sister. Appears in Saw IV - VII.
Detective Mark Hoffman at the end of Saw V. His brutality is shown as he smiles while watching an FBI agent die one of the most gruesome deaths of all the Saw movies.
Detective Mark Hoffman by Josh Brovin December 12, 2012

Detective "Four Hoes" 

the guy who points out the obvious that everybody seems to miss at the moment. you can summon him by laying down a pack of cigarretes and a freshly polished Monster Energy Drink. leave the rest to him.
Guy1: Dude, where the fuck is Andrew? I can't seem to find him.
Detective "Four Hoes" : He shoots heroin in the kitchen. *Points to the kitchen door*

goth detectives 

The mystery adventures of goths Bob Skeleton and Macabre de Coiffure (As played by Noel Fielding and Russell Brand). When the theme tune starts they run out of their coffins... weeelll not run, more like saunter. Goths don't run.
"The goth detectives can get the job done in 48 hours!"
"We could get it done quicker, if we weren't so bloody miserable!"

Prime Directive

In Star Trek it is the General Order 1 of the Starfleet and an oath every Starfleet Personnel has to take and uphold, even if it means death to them or their crew.

As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Starfleet personnel, Federation citizen and/or representative may interfere with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes introducing superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Starfleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship/installation, unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation.

The Prime Directive is overridden by:
* Omega Directive (Top Secret)
* General Order 24

Furthermore, Federation Citizens are not bound to the Prime Directive.
The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules; it is a philosophy... and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous. --Jean-Luc Picard, 2364

Someday my people are going to come up with some sort of a doctrine, something that tells us what we can and can't do out here; should and shouldn't do. But until somebody tells me that they've drafted that... directive... I'm going to have to remind myself every day that we didn't come out here to play God. --Captain Jonathan Archer, 2151
Prime Directive by Aendaeron May 22, 2016

emo detective 

emo detective with emo detective hat

don’t kill anymore of his friends
Person 1: oh look there’s shoe itchy
Person 2: yeah he’s an emo detective
emo detective by tenkochabashira February 8, 2021
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That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
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Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
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person2: ya he was a proper lad
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You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
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