Breakfast Machine
Breakfast Machine (noun, slang)
Definition:
A wildly over-complicated, theatrical explanation meant to distract from a simple lie, mistake, or inconvenient truth. Often full of unnecessary details, emotional sidetracks, and implausible logic, it’s used when someone could’ve just said, “I messed up,” but instead built a three-act play with puppets and smoke machines.
Definition:
A wildly over-complicated, theatrical explanation meant to distract from a simple lie, mistake, or inconvenient truth. Often full of unnecessary details, emotional sidetracks, and implausible logic, it’s used when someone could’ve just said, “I messed up,” but instead built a three-act play with puppets and smoke machines.
1.
“Spare me the breakfast machine and just tell me you were with your ex.”
2.
“That whole story was a damn breakfast machine. I stopped believing it at step four when the dog allegedly called 911.”
3.
“She couldn’t just say she was late—she gave me a breakfast machine involving a flat tire, a sick aunt, and Mercury in retrograde.”
“Spare me the breakfast machine and just tell me you were with your ex.”
2.
“That whole story was a damn breakfast machine. I stopped believing it at step four when the dog allegedly called 911.”
3.
“She couldn’t just say she was late—she gave me a breakfast machine involving a flat tire, a sick aunt, and Mercury in retrograde.”
Breakfast Machine by Angee Maree May 29, 2025
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