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because reasons 

A phrase used in substitution for actual reasons. It's typically used in situations where a question is either too complex to give a sound logical answer and it's simpler to convince the other person that they should just give you the benefit of the doubt, or because the question is incredibly stupid and therefore not worth answering, or the answer that would have been given should be obvious to anyone with a brain. It can also be used to just make a statement about something.
Person 1: I fucking hate Carrot Top.
Person 2: Why?
Person 1: Because reasons.

Person 1: Are you voting for Santorum in the primaries?
Person 2: No, because reasons.

*kid falls off of bicycle*
Person 1: Haha, it's funny because reasons.
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because reasons 

A sarcastic evaluation of someone else's logic
"Jenny knows that scientific studies show that vaccines are perfectly safe, but she still doesn't trust them because reasons."
because reasons by BJWise April 20, 2016

I want this because of reasons 

A phrase used to when one wants something badly, usually something that seems strange or completely random. It's normally used when someone is either 1.) too excited about the item to explain why they want it or 2.) doesn't WANT to explain why they want it. The phrase is taken from the "Pardon Me" strip in the webcomic "Three Word Phrase."
Pardon me, Sir. Do you have anything that will make a butt extremely slippery? I want the slipperiest butt imaginable. The most slippery butt you can have is the kind of butt I want.

....I want this because of reasons.

----

"Necomimi is the latest product from Neurowear. These fashionable cat ears use brain sensory to move according to your emotions..."

Someone put this on my Christmas list. I WANT THESE BECAUSE OF REASONS!!

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Respectfully 

Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
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You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

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Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
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Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
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