beardpop

Light, non-threatening, drifty-twinkly-jazzy music that is made by a very serious man in a small room on a computer. Aimed at an audience who like to stroke their chins while listening, trying to pretend that they are serious music lovers, when really they are listening to elevator music.
Otherwise known as idm (intelligent dance music), as described by people who are so scared of looking stupid, they actually put the word "intelligent" in the name of their favourite music genre. The music is undanceable but they put the word "dance" in it because they wish they could dance. And it's not really very musical so they put the word "music" on the end for safety.
Other people call beardpop electronica because it is so unimaginative that there are absolutely no ideas in the music, and listeners are left with only soulless electrical signals.
minimal techno is a close relative but modified for people that want to dance, a bit, robotically, without the offbeat funkiness required in uk garage, drum and bass or hip hop.

They were playing so much beardpop I fell asleep on the dancefloor, and I didn't wake up for seven hundred years.

beardpop by MINKYMINK February 14, 2007

Beardophile 

A person who enjoys stroking/touching other peoples beards.

You like to stroke beards, you beardophile!

Beardophile by Juicysatsumas March 19, 2013

beardophilia

An abnormal obsession/attraction to beards and men with facial hair.

I got a huge lady boner while waiting in line behind a bearded man and almost asked if I could brush it. My beardophilia is out of control!

beardophilia by Treegerson October 25, 2013

beardporn 

A beard so glorious that it is arrousing

Seth has some serious moist beardporn

beardporn by Highroller1950 December 21, 2014

beardophile 

A person either Male or Female and whom has an unhealthy obsession with the facial hair worn by others. A Beardophile will often and sometimes without permission stroke or fondle the facial hair of others without asking for permission. Or the Beardophile may ask to fondle said beard and ignore the response by the bearded person and Fondle the beard anyway.

At the company pick-nick two co-workers are talking and the office Beardophile buts in.

Beardophile: Hey that's a really nice beard you have there.
Bearded person: Yeah, umm, Thanks Beardofile.
Beardophile: Do you mind if I touch it?
Bearded Person: Ummmm, no thanks that's creepy actually.
Beardophile: (Ignoring what Bearded person has said, Beardophile reaches out and fondles the beard anyway)
Bearded Person: (Cheeped out) What are you doing Beardophile?

beardophile by Drexx McCloud December 17, 2015

Beardophile 

A bearded paedophile

See that beardophile on TV last night? Disgusting!

Beardophile by Rossicos July 22, 2011

Beardophile 

A person who is physically attracted to beards; a person who seeks out others specifically for their beard; a love of beards.

“That girl only liked me for my beard, she is such a beardophile.”

Beardophile by 2Dogs1CatMama April 9, 2021