ballooncock

A crime perpetrated on a man who is sleeping outdoors. First a helium-filled balloon is attached to the man's penis, then the penis is severed at its base. The unfortunate victim awakens shortly afterwards to experience pain, blood-loss, and the heart-breaking sight of his pride-and-joy floating away, never to be seen again.

Lady Astor: "If I were your wife, sir, I would ballooncock you as you slept."
Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband, I wouldn't want to keep it anyway."

by Alipé August 13, 2007

Balloondock

The process of going down on a woman, and exhaling into her vagina, thus, filling her up with air. Then, placing a hand on her stomach, to pushing the air out her cooter for a vaginal fart in your face.

E.g. Balloondocking, balloondocked. Air facial, Female inflation, partner assisted vaginal fart.

Not recommended for the use of women who don't clean their areas.

For best results, keep your hair free of any styling products so you can feel the gust of air on your scalp.

Do not balloondock into your ear, for it might cause an inner-ear infuction.

"You taste so good down here. Do you mind if i balloondock it?"

"I spent about 15 minutes balloondocking this girl. We both had a good laugh during foreplay."

"Something smells funny out here. It stinks. Like a bad balloondocks episode."

"...are you kidding? I'm a regular Balloondock Saint!"

by colorblind1982 July 22, 2009