The Babel fish is small yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier, but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the unconscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them.

The practical upshot of this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly disappears in a puff of logic.

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is whte and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that did not stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best selling book 'Well That About Wraps It Up For God'.

Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different race and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
"Ford..."
"Yes?"
"What's this fish doing in my ear?!"
by Douglas Adams' Ghost February 18, 2005
A translation tool.

Originates from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series written by the late Douglas Adams. A babel fish is stuck in your ear and feeds off of other people's neural patterns, excreting the translated thoughts into your brain.
Stick this babel fish in your ear.

Use babel fish to translate.
by Sonnybobiche January 28, 2004
The Babel Fish (from Hitchiker's guide to the galaxy) is a small yellow fish you put in your ear to translate other languages. It swims through your ear canal into your brain, where instead of feeding off of your brain, it does something incredible. It actually feeds off of other's brain waves and converts them into coherent thoughts of your language. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot watch foreign language films or read foreign text, even with the babel fish, since it only converts from active brainwave that are in the same room as you, not a language that's been recorded or from the written word.
- Person 1: "Golly jee wilkers! I can understand all the languages with the Babel Fish! I should use this in Chinese class!"
- Person 2: "It still won't help you ace your written Chinese exams."
- Person 1: "Aw."
by Garrett Starr November 3, 2014
The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech-like - and probably the oddest thing in the universe. It feeds on brain wave energy, absorbing all unconscious frequencies and then excreting telepathically a matrix formed from the conscious frequencies and nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain, the practical upshot of which is that if you stick one in your ear, you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language: the speech you hear decodes the brain wave matrix.
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
by Dr. Sago October 11, 2019