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A term used to describe how much of a dick, prick, asshole with the insides that when released could clear out a whole work space. Usually the person accused of acting like an alward can constructively and verbally tear a person down to the point of total loss of self worth, resulting in the person targeted by the alward to drive themselves into total confusion, second guessing themselves, and even sometimes crying themselves to sleep.
Alward:
Gaston....GASTON! I will give you some good news Tina. Now that you took your head out of your ass and decided to see the light guess who found out the solution to the problem we have been having since you and the old man touched the computer. That's right Me...I mean my god molly sue I don't know where you were when they where handing out common sense. Maybe you where standing in the mirror trying to find out what thong made your ass just look sexy or maybe your where riding down the street thinking of your favorite boy band that gets your heart to flutter every your hear there voice, but one thing is certain you ended up at the dumb ass store and put as much of that as you can in a cart and called it a day.

Gaston:
You know what your acting like a total Alward.
alward by Timmy long lance December 3, 2007
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A person whom contradicts themselves by telling someone to be professional, when in actual fact, they themselves are an unprofessional tosser.
He was being a total alward when he told me not to drink at work, while he was holding a scotch.
Alward by Defender89 April 7, 2025
Related Words

Brown Star Award 

The brown star award is earned after successfully having anal sex for the first time.
Joe Smo - Dude I just screwed Nikki in the ass..it was awesome. Joe Smo's Buddy- Dude you got the brown star award..thats Epic.
Brown Star Award by 1 with Nature February 12, 2015

Granny Awards 

An annual celebration of Archaicisms, primarily serving as an ego defense mechanism for Boomers (and other old people.)
Nominated for 2014 Granny Awards Rock Album of the Year:

Zeppelin, Sabbath, Bowie and Neil Young

-- Four acts that were "too hip to be square"* around 1970.

Kings of Leon and Queens of the Stone Age

-- Named after a passe form of government and a truly ancient Age of Tech.

How desperately we cling to illusions of youth and relevancy. -- Citizen of the Galaxy

* Once upon a time, even Before the Flood, contemporaneous fans of "Old Blue Eyes" and the "Candy Man" embarrassed themselves with such phrases, in a vain attempt to sustain their own relevance. Please, STOP THE MADNESS!
Another term for "award" that originated from a typo the Monke brained Connor of Trash Taste while typing the Reddit post for their podcast's anniversary.
Guy1: Hey have you watched the Trash Taste Awardw?
Guy2: you mean awards?
Guy1: no, it's awardw
awardw by Rain-nin May 28, 2021
Very great person has a very high temper goes to war about her loved ones and never switches up

Loyal at all times even when you piss them off
Alwande is a great person
Alwande by Goof_yqueen March 21, 2021

Herman Cain Award 

An award for individuals who vocally opposed masks and vaccinations in response to COVID-19, and then either ended up in the hospital or died.
Person A: "Did you hear about Doug? He died of COVID last week. His family watched it happen on an iPad. So sad."
Person B: "Wasn't he bragging two weeks ago about injecting horse de-wormer up his asshole when he got diagnosed? That guy was a real Herman Cain Award winner right there."
Herman Cain Award by Y2k September 2, 2021
More from Urban Dictionary
EBK stands for "Elite Ball Knowledge." 1 In internet slang, "ball knowledge" originally referred to a deep understanding of football/soccer or basketball, but it has evolved into a broader term for having a highly sophisticated, deep, or niche understanding of any specific topic (such as music, movies, or subcultures).
Person A: "That scene was a direct homage to an unreleased 1982 Japanese indie film."
Person B: "Wow, EBK."
EBK by silwhett November 5, 2026
Word of the Day on November 6, 2026
A seemingly endless debate with a idiot
I don't know man im not ready for yap trap stupidity today which always tries to suck you into it
Yap Trap by WolfieSnack November 4, 2026
Word of the Day on November 5, 2026
Texas is categorized as a swing state in presidential elections, but has voted for Republicans more times than for Democrats in recent history. As such, as demographics change political alignments, some Democrats believe that Texas will vote blue, or Democratic, due to their Hispanic and African American voters, who often align themselves with the Democratic Party's liberal wing.

Blexas has been cited as possible in the upcoming decades, but only if Democrats continue to win the Hispanic vote in bigger margins.
Democrat 1: What is your prediction for the 2024 presidential election?
Democrat 2: Well uh, Blexas!
Democrat 1: You've been saying that since 2008 though.
Blexas by Tritonist June 14, 2021
Word of the Day on November 4, 2026

briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
briefcake by Ben Frey April 6, 2006
Word of the Day on November 3, 2026
Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
Along with Nixon’s other ratfuckers, Roger Stone caused fights at otherwise peaceful Democratic Party protests to generate a false narrative that the Democrats were violent and dangerous.
Ratfucker by Ricky Ramjet November 2, 2017
Word of the Day on November 2, 2026
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