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absolute shambles 

The penultimate form of shambles (which could be foreseen by any five year old), caused by the ineptitude of so-called management failing to understand how the job is really done. Sacking all the administrative staff at once will result in an absolute shambles.
The management team thought it was an excellent idea to sack everyone in the administrative grade: "look how much money we will save, aren't we such clever boys and girls!"
The result was of course an absolute shambles because no real work could be done. It was a far bigger shambles than had been created in the past.
absolute shambles by MoLincs November 28, 2011

absolute fucking shambles

The ultimate form of shambles as might be created by an uber-shambles: best demonstrated when minor clerical and administrative duties have to be undertaken by professional staff in the alleged interests of 'saving money' which in fact does no such thing, but can be pointed to by those who equate change with progress, thus claiming credit for the latter.

The essential work of an organisation isn't done because trivial but necessary work is taking up the time which ought to be used to do the job for which professionals are really employed. Objection is met with a simplistic replies such as 'it only takes a moment', "do you regard it as beneath you", or 'any fool could do that'.

Further, any 8 year old could spot this was a particularly stupid way of doing things.
Loo rolls need changing: could a computer analyst do it? Then a computer analyst shall do it! Everyone including the janitors agreed this created an absolute fucking shambles as senior analysts spent time hunting for wherever loo rolls were stored, but the office manager thought it was an ace idea and claimed an end-of year bonus.
absolute fucking shambles by MoLincs September 12, 2012

absolute fucking shambles

A phrase commonly used to describe a terribly organised event.
Josh: Did you go to that curry night Conor organised?
Ciaran: Yeh, it was an absolute fucking shambles!
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026
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