Whyience 

The study of the reasons an information gatherer asks "why?" To get to the meat of the focus for this school of psychology, the potatoes consist of leaving your house and power walking to the heliport to be told you're too silly to be a skydiving instructor, then deciding to walk back home after your wheels get stolen by mob privates who work for friends of someone who knows a guy who owns the local lemon lot. On the trip, you walk past the liquor store, news stand, hospital, the delapidated insane asylum that got closed when Ronald Reagan was President, country club, Go-Kart Factory, and into a hardware store where you can purchase a shovel and an energy drink. On the return trip you decide to go the long way home so you can stop and "smell the roses" because it's finally nice weather after a three decade tornado warning siren. After an hour of walking, a guy who really wants to impress that one woman he met at work will pull over in his vehicle and call you a traitor because he liked the musical ambience of the siren then give you the finger and peel away. If you're blessed, you remembered to wear clean underwear and you'll find someone who will borrow your shovel and forget to return it until three decades later.

That school of psychology was founded by one lucky, strange bastard. He called it whyience after deciding to found a school he called Mumology, which is both the study of archaeology and the study of how to shut the fuck up whenever he felt the urge to brag about how clever he is.

Whyience by Zergberger April 21, 2022