tossometer 

An imaginary device that measures how truly dire something is.

Guy1: "Get a load of my new Hawaian shirt - it rocks!"
Guy2: "Sorry dude, it's a ten on the tossometer."

tossometer by Pedrosa von Beagle July 31, 2008

Tossometer 

An imaginary device that measures how truly dire something is.

Guy1: "Get a load of my new Hawaian shirt - it rocks!"
Guy2: "Sorry dude, it's a ten on the tossometer."

Tossometer by Pedrosa von Beagle May 8, 2006

Tossometer 

An imaginary device that measures how truly dire something is.

Guy1: "Get a load of my new Hawaian shirt - it rocks!"
Guy2: "Sorry dude, it's a ten on the tossometer."

Tossometer by Pedrosa von Beagle May 6, 2006

Toemometer 

Toemometer - Pronounced "toe mom' ett er" and rhymes with thermometer for good reason. Some people are equipped with a toemometer, located in the big toe (and possibly other toes). Toemometers are used to check the water temperature in large bodies of water, such as swimming pools or lakes, while deciding if one should dive in.

A variation of this gift is the "moomometer," located on some people's inside wrist, often used to check the proper temperature of bottled milk before serving to a baby.

To explain toemometers, consider this example. Joe dipped his toemometer into the swimming pool, then turned to his dad and said, "The water's fine, let's go swimming."

Toemometer by Quippy-One December 29, 2023

Dirty tonometer 

The sexual act of farting directly in someone's eye. (Tonometer is the tool used by eye doctors to test for glaucoma by emitting a puff of air on the ocular surface)

"I got pink eye. I bet it was from when that bitch gave me a dirty tonometer."

Dirty tonometer by inCozNito September 29, 2017