Toemometer - Pronounced "toe mom' ett er" and rhymes with thermometer for good reason. Some people are equipped with a toemometer, located in the big toe (and possibly other toes). Toemometers are used to check the water temperature in large bodies of water, such as swimming pools or lakes, while deciding if one should dive in.

A variation of this gift is the "moomometer," located on some people's inside wrist, often used to check the proper temperature of bottled milk before serving to a baby.

To explain toemometers, consider this example. Joe dipped his toemometer into the swimming pool, then turned to his dad and said, "The water's fine, let's go swimming."

Toemometer by Quippy-One December 29, 2023

Get merch

Dirty tonometer

The sexual act of farting directly in someone's eye. (Tonometer is the tool used by eye doctors to test for glaucoma by emitting a puff of air on the ocular surface)

"I got pink eye. I bet it was from when that bitch gave me a dirty tonometer."

Dirty tonometer by inCozNito September 29, 2017

Get merch

Cheeks

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

Get merch

sans sheriff

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Get merch

Shuffle