Telejew 

When the mobile phone company Telecom's XT phone system goes down for 4 days and all you get is $20 you've been Telejewed.

Telecom is as tight with their money as jews are. It's not racism, its just a fact of life.

Man A: "Fucking Telecom only gave me $20 compensation for their services fucking out"

Man B: "dude, you've been Telejewed"

Telejew by lilG23 February 22, 2010

Telejerk 

Telejerk is a term to describe how an individual and their partner engage in an act romance when they have been quarantined from each other, due to a sickness or pandemic, but the male still has the urge/need to blow a hot volcanic load of jism.

Well it’s official, Austin has contracted the coronavirus and is quarantined from the outside world, including his girlfriend Katie. I asked him how he’s going to give her the Mac sauce, and he said since Katie is in the corporate world and used to teleworking, that She will allow Austin to Telejerk whenever he feels the need. I hope Katie knows what she’s in for, Austin can blow loads all day any day. This cheesedick Keith we works with is jealous!

Telejerk by Tee Cee Deez March 15, 2020

telejerking

Portmanteau of "teleworking" and "jerking". This occurs when you have an office job that requires such little time and effort, that on snowy days when employees telework from home, you can have several jerk-off sessions while technically being paid.

Such jobs are usually only afforded to government employees and sometimes government contractors, since deadlines don't mean anything to their bosses and they will be paid regardless of performance.

Rick: I telejerked yesterday and today. How do you feel knowing that your tax dollars go to pay me for choking my chicken two times before lunch while looking at porn on my work computer? Yeah, and that conference call at 2? I was shitting while I was on the phone. Tomorrow will be my third consecutive day of telejerking due to the chain of command in my office being populated by spineless men who employee only college interns and sassy black ladies that literally contribute nothing to the ability of our government to function.

telejerking by DHS Employee February 14, 2014

telejerkoff 

A person who is at home, reportedly teleworking, when in fact they’re actually smoking ganja, eating pizza, watching Netflix, and jerking off.

My supervisor is an inveterate and highly accomplished telejerkoff who thinks that multitasking is when you jerk off using both hands.

telejerkoff by Dr Bunnygirl March 18, 2021

telejerk 

Someone who works from home, and communicates exclusively by email. Often after-the-fact and the voice of dissent, they waste time with long email threads instead of meeting face-to-face, or at least on the phone.

Bob: Who's this butthead Ralph who keeps sending emails poo-pooing our ideas?

Jack: Oh, he's some telejerk Terry hired last year.

telejerk by TissPee July 1, 2008

Telejerk 

When someone works remotely from home and slacks off instead of working.

“Is Henry in the office today?”
“No, he’s at home telejerking today.”

Telejerk by Mangina44 May 15, 2024

Telejerk 

When someone works remotely from home and slacks off instead of working.

“Is Henry in the office today?”
“No, he’s at home telejerking today.”

Telejerk by Mangina44 May 15, 2024