(noun) A cranky pessimistic old lady that resembles a spider in behavior and sounds like a crow. She acts like a witch all the time even when good things are happening. She is never satisfied and constantly nags and criticizes everything you do, also has a mean and vindictive personality and will sneak around telling lies and backstabbing people she doesn't like (which is almost everybody ). Has a misguided belief that everything she says/does/or owns is the absolute best thing ever even though its all bullshit. Alienates everybody in her life, even her family and "friends" to the point where nobody even wants to be around her. She carries a black cloud of oppression around with her and takes the life out of a room just by entering it. Is prone to hoarding and witchcraft and is often seen carrying talismans and "magical" stones and crystals in little pouches. Believes every infomercial and orders shit loads of worthless crap off TV (hence the hoarding) then proceeds to story vomit all over you.
"Dude, what's wrong? You look like somebody took a shit in your hat."
"I was having a great day until that old Spidercrow Cecelia showed up and ruined the whole vibe."
"I was having a great day until that old Spidercrow Cecelia showed up and ruined the whole vibe."
by stonyman March 01, 2014