Spermguard

A plastic cover over keyboards, rarely seen these days but frequently used in the past. Ostensibly used to prevent the keyboard's inner workings from exposure to dust or liquids, their primary use was to make sure the keys didn't get clogged with ejaculate.

I'm glad that I had a chance to take the spermguard off of the keyboard before they used the blacklight on my office, or otherwise I'd be fired for waxing the knob when I should have been filing TPS reports.

Spermguard by Philly Dan September 25, 2009

spermhoarder 

1 n. A person (usually male) who is not prepared to spill their seed in any way shape or form.

also

a sperm-bank robber

Eric is a spermhoarder.

spermhoarder by boristagg November 26, 2007

stormguard 

n.
A mask for one who doesn't like getting ejaculated on in the face by their lover during intercourse.

I'm glad I bought a stormguard, because Joey can blast a mighty load. I didn't get hit at all!

stormguard by Definer of Reality June 5, 2017

Spermglary 

The unlawful theft of one's ejaculate.

When Maggie rapes Jakob Dylan and steals his ejaculate, she will be charged with first-degree spermglary.

Spermglary by blasme April 6, 2010

spermgurgler 

The art of gurgling sperm in your mouth before you spit or swallow. Can also be used as in insult.

My gunlce is one of the best spermgurglers around. You are such a spermgurgler!!

spermgurgler by spermgurgle August 1, 2005