Skinny Bitch Syndrome
Suffered mainly by females and gay stereotypes. A disease shared by all of the female characters in Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy and Bones, just to mention some. In real life, a patient with SBS rarely reach the age of forty, as the people around them tend to kill them off. The symptoms include:
- Nagging about teir tragic lovelives
- Manipulating other women's husbands in order to feed their own insatiable need for approval
- Blackmailing other women in order to be the queen of the hill
- Living on a diet consisting of mainly nothing, diet coke and some artsy-farsty coffee drink. It never fails.
- Being bitchy
- Being generally hysterical
- Being a blast at parties by bitching and say things like "I don't eat sugar/snacks/filth like that" into the host/hostess' face
- Control issues. Oh, man.
- Excessive visible-bone flaunting
- Competing at everything and to everyone
- Staring bug-eyed at someone w the nerve to eat a Twizzler or bear claw in their presence
- Considering people over size of 00 to be subhuman
- The most common topics of conversation would be ramblings like these: "the baby, my lovelife, my life is complicated, i want to wait" and blah blah blah.
If you want to heal an SBS-patient in your circle, there is only one cure. You need a pair of boxing mitts, a cattle prod and some elbow grease. You do the math.
- Nagging about teir tragic lovelives
- Manipulating other women's husbands in order to feed their own insatiable need for approval
- Blackmailing other women in order to be the queen of the hill
- Living on a diet consisting of mainly nothing, diet coke and some artsy-farsty coffee drink. It never fails.
- Being bitchy
- Being generally hysterical
- Being a blast at parties by bitching and say things like "I don't eat sugar/snacks/filth like that" into the host/hostess' face
- Control issues. Oh, man.
- Excessive visible-bone flaunting
- Competing at everything and to everyone
- Staring bug-eyed at someone w the nerve to eat a Twizzler or bear claw in their presence
- Considering people over size of 00 to be subhuman
- The most common topics of conversation would be ramblings like these: "the baby, my lovelife, my life is complicated, i want to wait" and blah blah blah.
If you want to heal an SBS-patient in your circle, there is only one cure. You need a pair of boxing mitts, a cattle prod and some elbow grease. You do the math.
In fiction: (This is the digest, people. In real life the display of SBS is much more understated and takes time to discover)
SBS-patient (A glamorous FBI-agent, lawyer, surgeon) to a male model-like colleague: "You're smart, I'm pretty. I want your sperm because I can't have a baby with someone whose not as perfect as me. Its selfish not to have a baby. My baby's gonna be a doctor, no matter what. And beautiful. Or else I'll just not give a dang about it. But I can't be in a relationship with you because my life is too complicated. Of course."
Narrator out of nowhere: This, folks, is a classic display of Skinny Bitch Syndrome!
In real life:
Hostess: How was the souffle, guys?
Other friends: Absolutely scrumptious!
SBS-friend: "I really couldn't say. I'M on a diet." *looks smugly down on her untouched dessert*
SBS-patient (A glamorous FBI-agent, lawyer, surgeon) to a male model-like colleague: "You're smart, I'm pretty. I want your sperm because I can't have a baby with someone whose not as perfect as me. Its selfish not to have a baby. My baby's gonna be a doctor, no matter what. And beautiful. Or else I'll just not give a dang about it. But I can't be in a relationship with you because my life is too complicated. Of course."
Narrator out of nowhere: This, folks, is a classic display of Skinny Bitch Syndrome!
In real life:
Hostess: How was the souffle, guys?
Other friends: Absolutely scrumptious!
SBS-friend: "I really couldn't say. I'M on a diet." *looks smugly down on her untouched dessert*
Skinny Bitch Syndrome by werallsonsofbitches January 29, 2010
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