1. A fail!author who spawned the most horrific fail!series EVER. Wrote three books which teach young girls that without the man of their dreams, they are NOTHING. (Seriously, the fucking book goes BLANK when Edward leaves Bella. BLANK. Hello? Is there any THOUGHT here? Obviously not, or it would be written on the BLANK PAGES.) Series ends with Breaking Dawn, during which Edward Cullen chews through Bella Swan's uterus to save their demon spawn, who falls in love with a boy at least 17 years her senior, and then is pursued by the Volterra (obvious fun-pokery at the Vatican) for being fucking weird. Anti-climactic ending. Basically... fail!series by a fail!author.

2. A woman touted to be the next J.K. Rowling. If I were J.K. Rowling, I would SUE, for this is the worst kind of SLANDER and LIBEL I've ever seen.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods

Slang for Stephenie Meyer Author of popular books Twilight and The Host