Rassmutin

Verb to describe self-defense mechanism of shutting down listening to protect against possible but likely catatonic state induced by montonic, ramblings of mindless, self-absorbed asshole. Failure to "Rassmute" can result in uncontrolled drooling and or acute tourettes.

Don't you be rassmutin my ass! You listen to me when I talk or I'll stick my boot so far up your ass, you'll taste the dogshit I just stepped in.

Rassmutin by Shower Stalker April 10, 2003

Grigori Rasputin 

Grigori Rasputin had to be poisoned, shot several times, clubbed and then tossed into a frozen river before he was killed.

When he was found, his autopsy showed that he had died of hypothermia, despite the fact that he was found with a bullet hole in his forehead. Also, despite having consumed enough cyanide to kill several men, the autopsy showed no traces of poison.

Some accounts of his death suggest that his murderers had castrated him as well. A museum in St. Petersburg claims to have Rasputin's 12 inch long penis in a jar on display.

Stanley: If Grigori Rasputin and Sasquatch got into a fight, who would win?
Stuart: Motherfucking Grigori dude.

Grigori Rasputin by Studogmillionaire August 30, 2010

Rasputinism 

To be killed in a protracted, almost ridiculous way.

Derives from the case of Grigori Rasputin who was poisoned with cyanide, shot at least twice and then thrown in the River Neva. He was then dug up by Bolsheviks and his remains set on fire.

The posthumous execution of Benito Mussolini in 1945 and Oliver Cromwell in 1660 was classic Rasputinism.

Rasputinism by Tyburn January 2, 2008

Zealous Rasputin 

The sexual act in which a bro manages to insert his flaccid dong into a woman's ass while simultaneously incubating his entire scrotum in her vagina. The goal is not to achieve sexual satisfaction, it is an act done in the shameless pursuit of giving warmth to one's genitals. The female need not know the motivation, but generally is not pleased with the outcome. The endgame, my friends, is to fall asleep in this state.

Yo Byron, did you hear that Gilgamesh pulled a Zealous Rasputin on Taybeesha last night? Oh yeah dude for sure, I heard that it was quite the event. She was reasonably livid about the whole thing but she grew to accept it. Who doesn't want a little bit of warmth in their life nigga?

Zealous Rasputin by Manos Imilanololloolo June 29, 2013

Rasputin 

Russia's greatest love machine.

Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead.

Rasputin by Manx Bloke January 13, 2008

Rasputin would do it! 

A catchphrase that can be said in almost every situation.

Person 1: U culdnt haedshot me u were 10 miles awai
Person 2: Rasputin would do it!

Rasputin would do it! by [FP]Strider October 11, 2006

Rasputined 

To be rectally infused with the
bodily fluids of a hairy peasant that will
proceed to have a spontaneous erotic
intercourse with anyone on sight without
verifying consent.

I Rasputined your mom last night.

Rasputined by ProxyFoxy January 11, 2017