Pumpmuff 

Each fall, starting around Labor Day in the U.S. a donut and coffee chain of quick-serve restaurants called Dunkin Donuts begins offering a seasonally-themed variety of snacks. It's in this group of new snacks in which the pumpkin muffin can be found. This deliciously-flavored treat is topped with brown sugar and melted maple icing, all on top of a pumpkin-flavored piece of Valhalla itself.

In the days leading up to the release of the pumpkin muffin people begin calling for it... sightings occur and a wave of expectation starts up. And when they arrive in stores, asking for it by name would be amateurish. A true pumpkin muffin connoisseur asks for a "pumpmuff."

Now asking an unsuspecting Dunkin cashier for a "pumpmuff" will get you a look like you've just asked to have sex with them. Believe me, you're not gonna wanna do it with very many Dunkin employees. They're not all that much to look at, sadly, but I'll take a pumpmuff from 'em anyday.

(Man steps to the counter a Dunkin) "Hello. Lay a pumpmuff on me, will ya babe?"

Pumpmuff by cosmicpoet September 8, 2010