A greased up altar boy who is let loose in the empty pews in between Catholic masses, and is then chased by a sporty priest, not unlike a fox hunt. In some instances the Pew Hog may be fitted with incense smoke signals, or a tall crucifix similar to a flag fitted to a dune buggy for easier tracking. The Pew Hog may utilize any portion of the empty chapel and altar to evade the yearning hands of the priest, but the baptismal bath is off limits. A Pew Hog can be used anytime they are available, but are typically reserved for important Catholic holidays (i.e. Christmas or Easter) to get the priest jazzed up. Utilizing a Pew Hog around the holidays also decreases the chances of the Hog's parents giving a shit.
by DickSlab123 October 23, 2018