by Longleggedcleggyweggy November 24, 2010
Every time he goes out people approach him on the street and tell them how much he helped them.... And he's like "What, wait... I never said that." And then he realizes that IT WASN'T HIM! IT WAS HYM! ME HYM! And then he cries like a bitch about it because he wants the 80,000 a month he gets on patreon but he KNOWS that he's defrauding them! He can't tell the truth because he'll lose everything! And NOW, he's trying to rally politicians behind him like Tulsi Gabbard and Dan Crenshaw, collude with the media, BEGGING them to protect him so he can pretend to be a religious thought leader! Even though HIS THOUGHTS aren't what made those people throw their money at him! Lookathimlookathimlookathim! He's "Duplicitous" now! Ahahahahahaha! Look. He's going to try to beat me to the punch and kill the creature before me. Jordan... If a casual gaze from me was enough to SHEAR YOU TO YOUR CORE... What are YOU going to do the the creature!? If The Humbling River that is my soul washing over you was enough to rend the spirit from your meat Gundam... What hope do you possibly have against the creature? What are you going to do when I get there!? Silence me!? Super-bosses are immune to status effects you idiot! What accessory do you think I have equipped!? AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHA! AAAAAAAHAHAAAAA! Take a guess! AND I'M SUPPOSED TO HUMBLE MYSELF BEFORE HIM!? And not ME Hym but HIM HIM!? BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What happens when you kill it, Jordan?
What are YOU going to do when the creature RESURRECTS ITSELF FROM THE DEAD!? BET YOU DIDN'T THINK OF THAT! Did you!? All of the religious people that watch and I bet NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU THOUGHT OF THAT! Ye of little faith! I bet you all thought "You can't kill God" or "God isn't real". And THAT is exactly how I know that you can't do it! It's too late. You didn't think of it fast enough. 0 out of 9 billion. You know what? If you thought of it, good for you, you clearly get it. So, what I'm going to do is take challengers inbetween rounds and whoever thought of it gets first dibs.
Hym "Wow guys! One case of mistaken identity and you let a LITERAL NIETZSCHIAN MEGALOMANIAC CHARLATAN make a FRANTIC POWER GRAB while taking money under false pretenses. Grabbing up the half the media, a few fringe politicians, SEVERAL religious communities. Jesus christ! Do you SEE how you keep getting the Hitlers!? He isn't CLIMBING some hierarchy... YOU'RE SHOVING HIM TO THE TOP! OH PLEASE DADDY CRUSH US UNDER YOUR IRON FIST! FASTER DADDY! I'm not saying he's Hitler but HOLY SHIT."
Dr. JeepJorp "YoU sHoUlD bE pRaIsInG mE fOr My LaUdAbLe AmBiTiOn! Or imitating/worshipping me (Because those two words mean the same thing to me). What do you mean 'I'm talking to disaffected young men'? I wasn't talking to those useless weasels! I've solved the riddle of the human mind! I, the golden prophet! It's right here in this Bible!"
Hym "Wow guys! One case of mistaken identity and you let a LITERAL NIETZSCHIAN MEGALOMANIAC CHARLATAN make a FRANTIC POWER GRAB while taking money under false pretenses. Grabbing up the half the media, a few fringe politicians, SEVERAL religious communities. Jesus christ! Do you SEE how you keep getting the Hitlers!? He isn't CLIMBING some hierarchy... YOU'RE SHOVING HIM TO THE TOP! OH PLEASE DADDY CRUSH US UNDER YOUR IRON FIST! FASTER DADDY! I'm not saying he's Hitler but HOLY SHIT."
Dr. JeepJorp "YoU sHoUlD bE pRaIsInG mE fOr My LaUdAbLe AmBiTiOn! Or imitating/worshipping me (Because those two words mean the same thing to me). What do you mean 'I'm talking to disaffected young men'? I wasn't talking to those useless weasels! I've solved the riddle of the human mind! I, the golden prophet! It's right here in this Bible!"
by Hym Iam March 27, 2023