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Matterboat 

An individual like none other. Often found matterbating, a Matterboat claims to be incredibly bad-ass yet spends his free time hiding and giggling in corners while brushing his teeth. Matterboat's tend to have a way with the ladies, yet frequently find the girls of their dreams just out of reach.

Matterboat's also have the following characteristics: make weird noises, play air guitar in bed, are friends with everyone, and wiggle their knees.
"Who is it...?"

"Matt... "

"Matter who...??"

"MATTERBOAT!! "
Matterboat by Alabamazon November 8, 2014
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Matterboat 

An individual like none other. Often found matterbating, Matterboats are proven to be incredibly bad-ass. They're literally Ironmen. This is in no way diminished by their propensity to giggle in corners while brushing their teeth.

Matterboats tend to have a way with the ladies, leading to a track record of finding and marrying the girls of their dreams and living long and happy lives.

Matterboats are highly regarded by their peers. Others enjoy Matterboats' matterbation and are generally highly impressed by Matterboats' tendencies for high levels of success in nearly every aspect of life. Former roommates, travel buddies, and laser tag teammates especially admire Matterboats and deeply value their friendship.
*knock*knock*

"Who is it...?"

"Matt... "

"Matter who...??"

"MATTERBOAT!!"

"MATTERBOAT!!! I've missed you, dude! Congratulations on insert huge achievement here!!"
Matterboat by Alabamazon June 3, 2023

Masterbathon 

a masterbathon is a day that you stay home from school "sick" so you can beat off so many times that you are dry and chaffed and can't walk so the next day you have to stay home and do it all over again
Mike: "Damn jimmy has been out of school all week"
Steve: "I konw he must be having a masterbathon"
Masterbathon by LifeguardSteve April 27, 2004

masterblathering 

Excited, pointless and always somehow self-referential verbal-diarrhea. (See ANY Tarantino interview.)
Not an example of usage, examples of actual masterblathering:

"You don't have to tell me how cool I am, listen to ME tell you how cool I am!"

"Did you see me at Madison's party? Everybody was waiting for me to do something cool, I know, but I made them wait until Madison was right next to me. Did you see it? I was SO AWESOME, dude!"

"So I watched this movie once called "City on Fire" at the video store they let me work at and I thought "Shit, nobody's seen this! If I can get Harvey Keitel and that funny-looking guy from Fargo I can totally rip off my first movie!"
masterblathering by ginsoak May 8, 2008

Management Masterbation 

When Management does something purely for their gratification that will produce nothing.
Team building exersizes, employee surveys are just a few examples of management masterbation.

masterbatorium 

A confined space used for masterbation. A masterbatorium will sometimes have pictures of naked bodies hanging on the walls for visual stimulation. Those little rooms in the porn store that you stick quarters in, those are masterbatoriums. A masterbatorium will generally smell of lotion or crusted semen. You get a feeling of filth when you walk into a masterbatorium.
The guy who lived below me had his room completely wallpapered with centerfolds of Playboy Playmates, this was obviosly a masterbatorium.
masterbatorium by Russ Buss April 8, 2006

Manterboating

The placement of one's face, into the cleavage of a man's moobs, followed by the side-to-side shaking of the head accompanied with a motor-ing sound.
John made many trips to McDonalds on Friday; resulting in a hefty, yet delicious figure. Sarah was captivated by his rolls and decided manterboating his moobs at the pool the next day would be a hot idea.
Manterboating by D & L February 3, 2008