The country formerly known as Australia, but now known as the
Un-Democratic People's Republic of Koalastan. So renamed due to the
government's year
long campaign to unlawfully* block citizens, leaving from or returning to, the now permanently globally socially-distanced island. For citizens currently stuck in India it's even worse as Australian citizens
will receive up to 5 years in jail for even attempting to return to Koalastan.
*Unlawful as defined by the UN human rights committee’s demand that Australia stop blocking its own citizens from returning.
Australian Citizen: I've been stuck overseas for a year and can't get back
home to Australia to see my family
Koalastan
Government: While you were gone we renamed the country Koalastan and shut the border, you can go get fucked
Australian Citizen: But you let in Zac Efron, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Julia Roberts, Chris Pratt, Idris Elba, Natalie Portman, Awkwafina, Ed Sheeran, Jane Seymour, Melissa McCarthy, Michelle
Ye, Paul Mescal, Rita Ora, Ron Howard, Taika Waititi, Tessa Thompson, Tilda Swinton, Tom Hanks, Lord Alan Sugar, even Zac Efron's brother along with all their
friends, family and entourages?
Koalastan Government:
Well they're famous and you're just some dumb cunt citizen with dying family... don't make me tell you again
Koalastan Citizen: What about me? I need to leave Koalastan to go overseas to look after my sick old-age
parentsKoalastan Government: Yeah, nah, you can go get fucked too cunt
