Kleptopal 

A friend who takes your stuff without asking and claims to never have seen it, or leaving an item in their house/car when you ask if they have it they say no, and you end up finding out they really did have it(either because they used it in front of you and they're so stupid they forgot OR you just randomly see it with their things).

Sara: Omg, Michelle is such a kleptopal! I went to a party last week with her and I left my lip gloss in her car, and when I asked her if she had it she said I lost it while I was drunk, and I know she totally had it!

Ashley: What? how did you know she had it?

Sara: Dumb hoe used it right in front of me the very next day!

Kleptopal by staynkhoe March 16, 2011

Kleptokakistocracy 

A system of government which is run by the worst, least qualified, and most unscrupulous citizens who exploit natural resources and people, and steal for personal financial or political gain.

Some call our current administration a Kleptocracy, others call it a Kakistocracy, I say it's a Kleptokakistocracy

Kleptokakistocracy by mama_pajama_1 December 4, 2017

Cyber kleptomaniac 

An individual who is compulsively, downloading, leeching, grabbing, stealing, data of the internet.

I cannot help myselfdownloading. I am compulsively downloading all sorts of files from the internt and leeching like theres no tomorrow. I grab what I can when I can almost as if a kid in a candy shop stealing all the sweets . I am a Cyber kleptomaniac a leech, help me.

Cyber kleptomaniac by Firmstone June 21, 2008

Kleptogamy 

Kleptogamy ( derived from the Greek klepto ("to steal"), and gamos ("marriage"). is a behavior pattern in which males which lack attractive characteristics attempt to mate with females by means of deceptive behavior. Kleptogamy is seen throughout the animal kingdom, but is most often seen in humans.

Common examples of Kleptogamy among beta male humans include pretending to be homosexual in order to gain the trust of a female, or claiming to be a feminist in order to signal their submission to the female, and attempt to trick her into believing the male to be virtuous.

Males that employ kleptogamy have been found to have a much higher tendency towards being sexual predators due to their inability to attract a mate through ordinary means.

"Unattractive beta males will often resort to Kleptogamy"

Kleptogamy by Phoenix797 June 27, 2018

kleptomania

the rampant desire to constantly steal stuff, even if you arent poor.

Link suffers from kleptomania, i mean he wanders into peoples houses and robs them blind, and they don t stop him.

kleptomania by cpt. turtle June 12, 2005

kleptomaniac 

A Kleptomaniac is a person who is afflicted with Kleptomania, a compulsion to repeatedly steal "worthless" items, such as keychains and small fruit.

It is unclear whether it is due to depression, or people who are seeking more control of their life, but there are very few cases where diagnosed kleptomaniacs have stolen expensive items along the lines of jewelry and automobiles.

Winona Ryder was caught shoplifting several times at a grocery store, and is believed to be a kleptomaniac.

kleptomaniac by David Salberg April 27, 2006

Drunken Kleptomania 

Waking up hungover after a heavy night of drinking, often including blackouts and puking the superb act of being trashed - awakening to find a bunch of items that you don't actually own, on your drawers.

These are drunk trophies, memorabilia from the night before. Unfortunately as you pick them up the memories often don't come back, why do I have this mascara set on my desk? Whose keys are these? Why is this screw driver here?

If you've asked any of these questions you have been a victim (or more so abuser) of Drunken Kleptomania. Simply put, drunken kleptomania is a state in which you steal shit and bring it back, but you were drunk, so drunk in fact that you don't remember how you procured said shit.

FACT: 67% of men have participated in drunken kleptomania.

John woke up, it was Sunday - Bloody Sunday he thought as his head felt like someone was putting it in a vice set like in Casino, only this was a four-way pressure clusterfuck squeezing the scrambled mess of hungover brains. His eyes burned as he let out a mighty grunt. Suddenly his eyes opened a bit wider, the pain subsiding as a subtle "What the fuck" blurted out.

There he clumsily stood, gawking at what was his room. He noticed the new construction sign that was broken through the dry wall. The lipstick that was on the bureau and the amassed set of keys. He examined the keys and lipstick with peculiar intrigue...

"Wha, When the fuck did I get this?"

The memories from last night were not coming back, He remembered leaving the party, and the beer bong an hour before that, but nothing in between or after. Just then his roommate came into the room.

"Dude, you were so fucked last night..."

Little did John know, but he had participated in the greatest robbery, the largest collection of Drunken Kleptomania since 1974.

Drunken Kleptomania by Jimblor April 7, 2009