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Kleptobicia

klɛp təˈ bik i ə
The irresistible urge to steal lighters from those around you. People with this disorder are compelled to borrow a lighter to light up, and consciously or unconsciously steals your lighter in the process. This disorder usually manifests at the bar, house party, or other large gathering of people and leads to frustration and bewilderment of other smoking guests.

Derives from Kleptomania + Bic (lighter brand)
Charlie: Hey William, can I borrow your lighter for a second?

Will: Sure

Will: <10 minutes later, slapping pockets> Where the Hell's my lighter gone?

Sarah: Ask Charlie, he's totally got kleptobicia
by Panda Brother July 18, 2011
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kleptoBenia

The Act of subconsciously stealing pens, chewing and drooling on the caps. Then, once realized that there is enough lubrication, massage and eventually penetrate the brown eye for anal masturbation purposes. This may be done by going to town on one's self or a gay friend.
Pater: "That tosser Ken is such a kleptobeniac".

Andrew: Yae I know, I hear Scott walked in on him in the act. Then, he was bragging about Ken going straight kleptoBenia on his ass and how they executed a synchronized Kleptobeniation.
by cheeser696 May 13, 2011
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kleptobitchiac

Someone (preferably a girl but also possibly a super gay homo male) that asks to wear your fleece at a bar, and being the kleptobitchiac she is, never returns it. Instead, some random dude she shacked with that night realizes its yours and returns it a month later when you go to his house to blaze a blizzidy..
I was at Reggie's the other night and that kleptobitchiac Shelby jacked my fleece and went home with some dude where she possibly gave him multiple hand-jobs!!!
by DiscoASSmofo December 7, 2010
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kleptopigia

n. An irresistible pathological desire to steal pigs or delicious parts of pigs, such as bacon. Usually considered untreatable.

.........................
Why is there ham hidden in every nook in your house? You still got that kleptopigia?

Get off my case! It’s in my nature!
by gnostic3 October 20, 2022
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