Jobese 

When you are so fate that your name fuses with an eating disorder

This kid is Jobese, don't talk to him.

Jobese by Jobese August 15, 2018

jim joneser 

A nickname for a dystopian psychopath who appears to offer utopia to lost and searching people.

That guy offering you a free ticket into Shangri La is a malignant jim joneser who will be serving you Kool Aid in no time.

jim joneser by Dr Bunnygirl January 3, 2019

Jobseeker's Allowance 

Also known as JSA, this is the standard state handout to the unemployed in the UK.
Jobseeker's Allowance is paid by Jobcentre Plus to Jobseekers, who are required to actively seek work.
In order to receive Jobseeker's Allowance you must go to a branch of Jobcentre Plus so that a member of staff (a Dictator) can find out what sort or work you will have to look for - which is usually the most lowest paid, temporary and agency work. This will be called your Jobseekers Agreement.
If the dictator decides you are doing enough to find work, you will get paid a paltry sum that is not enough to live on.
In order to continue receiving Jobseekers Allowance, you must visit the Jobcentre Plus every 2 weeks - known as "Signing On" to show a dictator evidence of what you have done to find the work that is put down on your Jobseeker's Agreement.
This is very demeaning and the Dictator will make you feel very small and guilty that you are still a jobseeker.
If the dictator thinks you have applied for enough menial jobs but havent got one, you will be eligible for another payment of Jobseeker's Allowance.
You will then have to go back in another 2 weeks to do this again for your next payment of Jobseeker's Allowance.
If the Dictator decides you are not applying for enough jobs, he or she will stop your claim and you will no longer be eligible for any Jobseeker's Allowance.

I'm going up the pub tonight, got me Jobseeker's Allowance paid today!

Jobseeker's Allowance by unemployed person April 22, 2009

keep up with the joneses 

to strive beyond one's means to keep up socially and financially with others in one's social circle or neighborhood (from the name of a comic strip by Arthur R. Momand)

If I he can't afford a decent meal, he should not keep up with the Joneses.

keep up with the joneses by The Return of Light Joker November 16, 2009

Joeserver Effect 

Similar to the observer effect in physics, the very act of one person saying they will attend an event can cause all other people who were going to attend to change their minds. Has been known to ruin entire parties.

<Dave> Man, this party is going to be awesome, are you guys coming?
<Adrian> I'll be there
<Joe> I'm coming!
<Adrian> Actually wait, I just realised I had something on
<Dave> Damn, the Joeserver effect!

Joeserver Effect by PartyJardino May 18, 2009

The Joneses 

A faceless family thought to be socially and/or financially prosperous; poor folks try to emulate them.

"We livin' off mud pies and piss water, and you spend our life savings on a sable coat?" (20 MINUTES OF HO-SLAPPING COMMENCES). "Bitch, quit trying to keep up with the Joneses."

The Joneses by sexie chocolate October 14, 2004

Phil Jonesed 

someone is Phil Jonesed when a girl/guy makes them strip with the intention to have sex but then changes his/her mind and not have sex with them, resulting in them putting their clothes back on in failure and shame.

a reference to Manchester United player Phil Jones who took his shirt off in celebration before Sergio Aguero's late league winning goal during the 2011/2012 BPL season

john: did you get lucky with Sasha?

tom: no she came over, we made out then she stopped and left after i got naked

john: you got Phil Jonesed

Phil Jonesed by ThatDude1988 July 12, 2012