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I Wish I Could Read 

1. An exasperation; An expression of one's deeply seated desire to be bequeathed the knowledge necessary to read and comprehend advanced literature, such as road signs and Eric Carl's "The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar", the latter of which is often considered to be the epitome of postmodernist literature.

2. In a metaphorical sense, a display of one's dismay after having conducted what is often known as a "slip of the tongue" while performing the act of reading literature. In this case, it should not be seen as one literally being incapable of reading, rather as a cry for forgiveness after one has botched the reading of a passage.

3. A deeply rooted metaphysical desire often believed to be the root of all suffering. A desire to read is very often perceived by scholars to be the cause of some of the most tragic events in human kind. A notable example of such a tragedy include Thirty Years' War, in which Austrian Catholics were unable to read the Protestant North German and Scandinavian bibles, leading to armed conflict between both parties as neither could perceive that they were, in fact, reading the same book.
1. "I tried to find the Inn but sadly my illiteracy prevented me from reading roadside signs and I was regulated to sleeping under a bridge. Damn I wish I could read."

2. Susanne: "Look Hon, it says here that you can bake a cookie for free."

Susanne's Hon, Richard: "Are you sure that is what is truly written down? Perhaps you might wish to take a further look at the statement you have just provided me, for it seems as though you had a slip of the tongue."

Susanne: "Damn I wish I could read."

3. Ferdinand II, Holy Roman Emperor: "Gustavus, what are these books you have handed me? They are completely illegible, any true bible should be written in Latin! Not some strange viking tongue!"

Gustavus Adolphus, King of Sweden: "Why, they are the bible my fine fellow. They are merely written in the language of my people, Swedish, as many Swedes cannot comprehend Latin."

Ferdinand II, Holy Roman Emperor: "Heresy I say! this means war!"

Gustavus Adolphus, King of Sweden: "Damn I wish I could read."
Words you can keep
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board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

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Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
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Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
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Some grebo passed with Sabbath playing on his stereo.
The Poppies are at no. 17? God, a grebo band in the charts!
They're playing nu-metal now, bloody grebos!
grebo by cactuscat September 15, 2006
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another term for a station wagon, mini-van, or any other kind of vehicle that is targeted at the "family" demographic(also M.A.V.)
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mormon assault vehicle by KVRX January 10, 2005
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A version of "Sharia Law" that Reform Ltd supporters tend to refer to, often by mistake.
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Shakira Law by Reformltd February 16, 2025
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