Hartenbauer 

The male version has much trouble with women. In the stone age, male Hartenbauer cavemen would charm females with their large man boobs. Once seduced the female would have to be on top during sexual intercourse.

Now days Hartenbauers are typically republicans who are thought to be conspiring to kidnap Hillary Clinton. They find relationships difficult, and make themselves feel better by eating cake. Once a male Hartebauer finds his true love, they will be inseparable and truly happy.

The Hartenbauer sure loves his cake! I guess that means he couldn't get a date tonight.

Hartenbauer by Fresh Prince of Persia October 3, 2007

hartenbower 

to play dungeons and dragons to the point of numbing social desparity; also: to become obsessed with mint condition comic books at the expense of sex appeal

That guy pulled a hartenbower all weekend, now he's headed to the comic-con... he should get a life.

hartenbower by Little Ben-Ben May 5, 2006

Harry Hackenbauer 

A term used to fob off your kids as an explanation for where you are going and who you are going to see. Warning: This explanation only works with children under 3 and retards.

Child: Where are you going?
Parent: To see Harry Hackenbauer (really going to a ravin sex orgy)
Child: Oh okay see ya

Harry Hackenbauer by Floydiandream August 23, 2009