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Handleweights 

Handleweights are the correct term for the items of fitness equipment commonly known as "kettlebells". Kettlebells got their name in an elaborate and perfectly executed act of deception that managed to make fools of the entire english-speaking world. Kettlebells are not in any conceivable way related to either kettles, or bells. By continuing to refer to them as such, we are complicit in our own gullibility.

Don't be a fool. Don't be the victim of the ruse of some shadowy, faceless puppetmaster. Call a handleweight a handleweight, not a kettlebell - then people will know that you are someone who knows their shit when it comes to gym equipment.
"My arms are killing me, I've just done a 25 minute snach workout with a 16kg handleweight".

"Handleweights you say? Oh, yes, handleweights. You, sir, are clearly well versed in all aspects of wellbeing. Please accept this cat as a tribute."

Counterexample:

"Excuse me, does this gym have any kettlebells?"

"Kettlebells? This is a place for making muscle. Not tea and clangs. Take your made-up words to a gym where the staff are less gullible."
Handleweights by Girya August 26, 2013
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