Gregolith
The Gregolith, who derives rock-solid cognitive and physical capabilities from the secret compound Gregolithium, is a rare and endangered humanoid, typically male. Definitive characteristics include an undying affinity for Scrabble, Burger Time, going "nil" or "2 for 10" in Spades, and the reckless, yet tastefully innovative overuse of the phrase "that's what she said." The Gregolith is frequently identified by association with his humanoid relative, J-DOS, however the Gregolith is most easily identified by his signiture "gun show" routine, in which an unsuspecting mark is asked if they have tickets to the gun show, and is then summarily directed toward the nearest 2 gun shows. The Gregolith draws livelihood documenting and collecting unusually long french fries. He also earns supplementary income by NOT playing the Raffi song, "bananaphone." When not pursuing career endeavors, the Gregolith relaxes by cheering on his favorite football team, The Jets, even in the offseason.
1) Holy crap, that's a long french fry. I'll bet The Gregolith will be by any minute to take a picture. 2) Gregolith: Do you have your tickets yet? Unsuspecting bystander: To what? Gregolith: To the Gun Show! 3) The Gregolith begins pole dancing on a subway train, then claps, points, and says "Go Jets, New York!"
