Furniturd

Furniturd n. , (pl. , furniturd). A useless piece of furniture (junk) that one plans on eventually dumping on a sidewalk, or leaving at a Goodwill donation drop-box.

"Oh no you don't! You are not leaving that piece of furniturd in the house."

This bookcase is missing at least two shelves and the drawer in that desk has collapsed. Time to take this furniturd to the dump.

Furniturd by toast_melba August 27, 2011

Phantom Furniture 

Ghostly presence of furniture from the last tenant of the apartment you're renting. It can appear late in the night, especially if you go get a glass of water with the lights turned off. Are usually easy to get rid of with a simple exorcism.

Vilmar: Damn, I just stubbed my toe on some of Joe's phantom furniture.
Torkild: Who's Joe?
Vilmar: He's the guy who rented this apartment before I moved in.
Torkild: Boy, you need to perform an exorcism on this place.

Phantom Furniture by t-degg March 4, 2015

occasional furniture 

Basically, it's furniture that is used all the fucking while.

Wife: Hey honey shall we use the occasional furniture table tonight for dinner?

Husband: You mean that table we've used every night since we got it?

occasional furniture by ShittierJokes November 15, 2017

Old English furniture polish 

Old English furniture polish

Or Old English wood polish

Made by company Reckitt Benckiser plc

Old english furniture polish conditions, cleans & helps protect your furniture to bring out wood's natural beauty

It is specially formulated for all light & dark wood surfaces throughout your home, including kitchen cabinets, wood furniture, wood paneling.

Old English furniture wood polish is available in Liquid form
& OIl Form.

OLD ENGLISH® Lemon Oil Polish
OLD ENGLISH® Scratch Cover - Light Wood
OLD ENGLISH® Scratch Cover - Dark Wood
OLD ENGLISH® Lemon Oil Polish (Canada)

AEROSOLS
OLD ENGLISH® Furniture Polish Aerosol - Almond
OLD ENGLISH® Furniture Polish Aerosol - Fresh Lemon

Old English® furniture cleaning products, polishes wood care products bring out wood's natural beauty.

Not to be confused with olde english 800 ,
A brand of American malt liquor brewed by the Miller Brewing Company. that was introduced in 1964 , No they are not the Same product .

Old English furniture polish is more similar to pledge wood cleaner , Murphy Oil Soap Wood Cleaner ,
Guardsman Wood cleaner & polish Liquid All-Purpose Cleaner, Weiman Products Clean Wood Furniture Cleaner & Polish Spray , Howard Oil-based Wood Polish & Conditioner , Scott's Liquid Gold Liquid Gold Wood Furniture Cleaner & Polish Spray.

Old English furniture polish. / wood polish is made for

Sprucing up / touching up worn out furniture made of wood

Like coffee tables with scratches and gouges, Nicks ,cuts and blemishes.

Brand Name : old english
Product Type : Wood Cleaner & Polish
Manufacturer: Reckitt Benckiser
Product Type : Furniture Polish & Oil

For best results, use as needed to remove dust and clean stains on wood furniture. To nourish and protect light or dark woods, you can apply Old English as often as you like. When your wood starts to look dull or dry, it's not too soon to polish.

Old English furniture polish by Blu_leef April 28, 2023

furniture moving

A metaphore for fighting

Jessica: I saw your husband Jaquan kissing on some chick last night.

Starkesha: Oh, there's about to be some furniture moving tonight.

Jessica: Just don't shoot the n*gga.

furniture moving by GreyLadi July 7, 2011

Fluids on the Furniture 

For when you find stains on the bed/furniture after another couple sex in a hotel room.

Oh god Nancy, we purchased a suite in Miami, and when we walked in we found fluids on the furniture!

Fluids on the Furniture by ThatGuyWhoLikesTSeries April 6, 2019

Randy's Furniture

To insert wood into a female's "furniture."

Guy 1: Haha, you work at Randy's Furniture?
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: You don't get the joke?
Guy 2: Oh I do now, leldankmeme.

Randy's Furniture by lengthiestwarfare April 3, 2015