Fez Whatley
One-half of the Surius-XM radio shock jock power-duo "Ron and Fez". Born in Florida to racist parents and living the majority of his life selling shitty cars to inbred panhandlers, Fez AKA; Todd Hilliard, Uncle Todd or Fezzy W., got into radio some time after being beaten over the head with a stick by the notorious "Cane-Pole Gang". Now living in New York City, more specifically Roosevelt Island, or as the locals call it, Retard Island, Fez allegedly spends his spare time vacuuming and dusting his apartment, probably flirting with Chinese food delivery boys, and I'm guessing, practicing wrestling holds on his cat, Scruffy. His favorite food is ant-covered donuts, and his hobbies are; reading comic books, watching WWE, laying out in the sun until half his face is burnt off, vacationing in Florida and playing kick ball with the fellas at Four Winds Mental Health Facility. Fez was also a focal member of the band "The Asexual Monkeys" along side Earl Douglas. The band split up when Fez exposed he in fact, was not asexual, shaming Earl into quitting his job as the lone asexual.
Gay onlooker at the gay pride parade: Who is that steamin' stack of man on the Retard Island float? (as he adjusts his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose as to peer out over the top of the rim)
Gay onlookers strait buddy: Who? Oh, that's Fez Whatley. Built like a brick shit house, but homeboy talks like a girl!
Gay onlookers strait buddy: Who? Oh, that's Fez Whatley. Built like a brick shit house, but homeboy talks like a girl!
Fez Whatley by Justin Bartha February 23, 2009
