Fauxdit

When a company needs to get a financial statement audit of its records for a bank or its shareholders but doesn't really want to pay the full price or is afraid there may be material errors in its financial statements. A Fauxdit is normally performed by a small-medium public accounting firm that doesn't know what it's doing.

CEO: Our bank requires that we get an audit done to make sure we actually made $200 million last year. I'm afraid they might actually find something when they go digging, and we don't need another expense to worry about this year.
CFO: Well, we could get a fauxdit done. They'll sit in a side room, charge next to nothing, and they'll probably be content just seeing that our internal spreadsheets tie to themselves and to the financial statements. I'm virtually certain they won't even notice that our balance sheet doesn't balance. It will also cost way less than an audit and we will get the same report.
CEO: Good. Hopefully the bank doesn't notice.

Fauxdit by Virtuous Consortium August 19, 2013

fauxitus 

fauxitus — Penetrative sex using a harness and a phallic simulacrum of some type to stimulate the G-spot in women; or, the prostate in men. Some enjoy the experience of dilation using stimulators of graduating sizes and lengths.

Some people prefer to assert freedom from the penis shape by using a stimulator in the harness that is shaped like a sperm whale, a dolphin, or even an alien ovipositor complete with implantable eggs.

Whatever is chosen, this isn’t an act designed for either a quickie; or, a lack of commitment to the experience.

This is a very “overly specific” act to perform.

Coitus, fauxitus — it’s the 21st century; what’s a little penetrative sex between friends or lovers? Especially overly specific penetrative sex!!!!!!

fauxitus by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 1, 2023

fauxlite 

fō'līt adj.

Fake politeness, usually displayed in public settings. People who are fauxlite are perceived to be very sweet and innocent by their casual friends, but can be devious, manipulative and mean. A fauxlite person's true colors only shine through by accident, or are demonstrated to those in their circle of trust -- a.k.a. their family. Also, those who see through this facade are coldly received by the fauxliter. **Friends rarely, if ever, believe that a fauxliter could ever be anything but nice and kind.**

Fauxliters are often martyrs who decline any offer of help/assistance (so as not to impose), laugh really loud and overzealously at jokes, buy/make random gifts, and say yes to almost anything their friends ask of them.

Michelle: My mom is such a jerk. She called me a thief and a liar and was yelling at me on the phone today.

Gary: No way! Your mom is SO nice! She baked me a cake for no reason. She would never say those things!

Michelle: Oh please! She is so fauxlite it makes me want to vomit. You just don't see it because you're not related to her.

fauxlite by dinosaur lunchbox September 24, 2009

fauxjitsu 

the martial art of pretending to have martial arts training in an attempt to intimidate others; fake karate

"Barry, quit waving your arms around with your fauxjitsu. Nobody's impressed."

fauxjitsu by chadb December 6, 2006

fauxjito 

A fauxjito is an approximation of a mojito. It is usually made with a mix of white rum and mojito mix.

Bryan was at a Pirate Party last week, and all they had was a bunch of rum and mojito mix, so he was left no choice but to make himself a fauxjito.

fauxjito by Phil Lockerby and Bryan Cox September 3, 2007

Fauxlitarian 

Someone who pretends to be working class, despite owning their own house, having attended a private school or having a middle class job. A broader version of Mockney.

A:Piers told me that he was proud to be a working class hero.
B: But he went to public school. He's so fauxlitarian

Fauxlitarian by Cedric45 February 17, 2009

fauxmit 

When you do everything involved in puking and don't actually puke. Also known as dry heave.

I thought I was sick but all I could so was fauxmit

fauxmit by Momma Neal January 4, 2014