Ding suppression

(noun) - A device worn on one's head to conceal male-pattern baldness when out and about amongst his peers (e.g. a hat) Particularly useful when around women.

("ding" as in "balDING")

hat scalp gross peacocking vanity

Insecure dude: "I don't want all the girls at the club to laugh at me when I hit on them tonight so I better cover that scalp up with some ding suppression."

Bro: "Wise choice bro!"