Dickjitsu 

(Note: Has both Noun and Verb forms)

Noun: The subtle art of being a dick. For when a dick move is performed with such a level of care, cunning, and sheer balls that flak for it is unlikely to fall on its perpetrator. A portmanteau of "dick" and "jujitsu". The term was coined by Erica Cantin in Cracked.com's "The 5 Ballsiest Lies Ever Passed Off as Journalism."

Man 1: Wait, so Ben Franklin reported in an issue of Poor Richard's Almanack that his rival — Titan Leeds — had died, and that he had been replaced with an impostor, who was actually just the real Leeds?
Man 2: Yup.
Man 1: ...and when Leeds really did die, Ben congratulated the "impostor" for owning up the the charade by dying?
Man 2: Yup.
Man 1: Wow, that man was like a black-belt dickjitsu master.

Dickjitsu by Astrolounge August 27, 2009

dickitude 

bein a dick ......by choice

mr.petkash had a dickitude moment today

dickitude by Petkash February 28, 2009

Dickisured 

Insurance for a single person protecting financial assets from dicks.

I'm a single woman so I called my insurance agent to protect my finances from all dicks. I'm now dickisured!

Dickisured by Dmarie2015 January 1, 2015

Pencilius Dickitus 

Pencilius Dickitus, also known as pencil dick and Ward Syndrome, is an extremely rare and deadly disease, affecting American and British men. Over one cases were reported in 2007 alone. The infected boy (whom will not be named) had a shaft measuring 4 1/2 inches in length, yet only 3/8 inches in circumference. The head, however, is often average in size, and has been noted to be exceptionally large in over one cases.

Doctor: Im sorry son.
Tommy TwoTones: What is it?
Doctor: You have pencilius dickitus
Tommy: What is it?
Doctor: very bad: your dick resembles a pencil.
Tommy: Is it common to have this?
Doctor: No. You're the first. Haven't you noticed?
Tommy: I thought it was normal...This is so sad.*cries*
Doctor: That's what she said.

Pencilius Dickitus by Skyther Gitlow August 15, 2007

Dicktits 

1. The appearance of breasts created by holding one's scrotum tightly against one's penis shaft, so that the testicles appear as the aforementioned breasts, with the head of the penis as the head of a tiny woman. Works best if the penis is both circumcised and shaved. However, a hairy penis and/or ballsack can give the hilarious impression of a busty gorilla.

2. An angry interjection used to express frustration.

3. An insult implying stupidity or annoyance.

1. Person 1: "Hey dude, check out these huge dicktits!"
Person 2: "You're a fag."

2. "Fucking dicktits! I hit my goddamn thumb with this hammer!"

3. "Stop being such a fucking dicktit, you goddamn assmunching cheesedick moron."

Dicktits by Japhasca July 26, 2011

Dicktits 

a new form of insult or phrase to express anger or surprise.

This test is gonna be dicktits.

shut up dicktits

Dicktits by nutshak February 24, 2009

Dicktitude 

Referring to the male of the human species when he's being a jerk or a tool and he's giving attitude as if he's experiencing male PMS.
Or: When a male thinks he's "all that"

I was trying to be reasonable with him but he had such Dicktitude that he was impossible to deal with!

He approached me with such Dicktitude that it was easy for me to turn him down.

Dicktitude by CydInSLC January 18, 2011