Beard (Beardy/ Beardo) 

A slightly disillusioned male prone to suffering from extreme emotions. Likely to become utterly infatuated with members of the opposite sex, only to perform a complete reversal of feelings in the blink of an eye and hurl verbal abuse at them.

100% absolutely guaranteed to be late, even if you purposefully tell him the wrong time, his inner clock will force you to rethink plans to allow for his tardiness. If you attempt to reprimand him for this, he will simply chuckle. In fact he will chuckle in literally any situation ala Dr Hibbert (The Simpsons)

Skirmishes with a Beard, (although over as quick as they begin and normally consist of him stamping over to you with a grimace on his face), will often result in him threatening you with a house brick

Although a Beard cannot be classed as a boy racer (as he is far too old), he will drive perilously fast. As a result a vital part of his vehicle (Brakes, Gearbox, Suspension) will usually emit distressing noises

Beards will demand to spend the majority of a night out in a drinking establishment frequented by old men. He will affectionately refer to this as a “pub pub” and will became very excited about the opportunities to order Stella and dry roasted peanuts.

If a Beard rubs his stomach or makes a gesture such as biting into an invisible burger, this is normally a sign that he is grown tired and needs replenishment (Often occurs towards the end of a night out)

“”Where’s that dam Beardo, I bet he’s having a second curry!””

“I don’t think Beard (Beardy/ Beardo) will be coming out tonight, he’s got a new girlfriend”

Beard (Beardy/ Beardo) by Cutco July 6, 2010

beardy beardy chip chip 

A reference to someone who, when high on ecstasy and alcohol, orders a plate of chips from room service at 4am, then proceeds to eat only half the chips, and consequently falls asleep with chips stuck to his beard.

"Paul, don't fall asleep or you may roll in your chips, then you will be beardy beardy chip chip"

"You have chips stuck to your beard, you are beardy beardy chip chip"

beardy beardy chip chip by Bracknell Biddle October 17, 2006

Merlin's Beard 

An exclamation from Harry Potter which is similar to "Oh Lord!"

"He just shat his pants!!"

"Merlin's Beard!!!"

Merlin's Beard by Merlin Himself May 26, 2009

Bingley Beard 

Someone who isn't a tramp but has a tramp's beard because their that tight to spend money to either shave or trim it.

Looks at that scruffy twat, he has a job but is sporting a Bingley Beard

Bingley Beard by Greg_the_Smeg February 12, 2019

Unix beard 

Facial hair that all Unix experts are mysteriously compelled to grow. The length, bushiness, and unkemptness of the Unix beard are all directly proportional to the owner's expertise. Having a Unix beard is a great way to ensure that you never get laid.

Bob's a true Unix genius, just look at the size of his Unix beard!

Unix beard by josh@rootpoot November 19, 2003

Exam Beard 

The facial hair that grows in the weeks running up to, and during, exam season. Normally due to a person's desperate need to cram as much revision into that short space of time as possible, causing them to disregard things like basic hygeine, eating properly, social events, sleep etc

Girlfriend: Wow Mark, you need a shave!
Student: Shave!? I don't have time to shave! I've got a multi-choice business AP on monday, my spanish oral wednesday afternoon not to mention my chemistry resits!
Girlfriend: So you're gonna go to class with that rediculous pubescent stubble on your face?
Student: It's my exam beard.

Exam Beard by Tactful June 7, 2010

Phantom Beard Syndrome 

Similar to phantom limb syndrome, Phantom Beard Syndrome (PBS) occurs when a man has had facial hair for an extended period of time and then for whatever reason decides to shave it. He is likely to still think the facial hair is there, feel it, or even attempt to stroke it even though it is gone.

I shaved off my goatee before joining the army 4 years ago and I can still feel it today. I thing I have Phantom Beard Syndrome.

Phantom Beard Syndrome by Renegade1835 August 29, 2010