Barwinism

Barwinism is a set of concepts that relates procreation with the idea that the human standard, as it relates to choosing a mate, is directly proportionate to the number of drinks that species consumes.

Barwanism dictates that the drunkest will lower their expectations and have sex in an ally, gutter, field, bathroom stall, back of a pickup, on a rooftop, on your moms bed with your mom sleeping next to you, etc. with no, or little, concern for the consequences. Thus producing a catalyst that will bear fruit nine months post orgasm.

"All three of my kids were a direct result of barwinism."

Barwinism by DDDALLAS November 23, 2011

Bailinism

Religion of Bailey, the Great Cow God. Those who follow the path of Bailinism are called Baileys.

"Do you celebrate Christmas?"

"No, I'm Bailey a follower of Bailinism. I celebrate Cad."

Bailinism by Aehsn Twthei January 1, 2012

Carwinism 

Throughout history the surrounding world has selected the cars that are most fit. Just as for the natural species, cars ability to adapt to new conditions has decided which models that have become successful. Factors such as the economy, the price of oil, baby booms, popular culture, urban planning and law has all decided the evolution of car.

he thought about buying a steam engine car but reconsidered when realizing it was extinct by carwinism.

Carwinism by Audini July 3, 2009

Darwinism

The process by which, via natural selection, unfit specimens remove themselves from the gene pool. See Darwin Awards.

He lit up a match to check if the tank had gas in it. Darwinism ensued.

Darwinism by Dense Fog September 8, 2005

Barbieism 

The futile attempts of beta females to superficially replicate the look of alpha females via fake bolt-on breasts, fake spray-on tans, hair extensions and so on.

Envy of much prettier and more successful women leads to desparate Barbieism in trailer trash wannabes.

Barbieism by Sarasplayroom.com February 21, 2009

Cognitive Darwinism 

The conscious decision to choose the less favorable of two choices resulting in greater probability of a bad outcome.

Refusing to vaccinate to protect yourself is cognitive Darwinism at its finest.

Cognitive Darwinism by Pablo Tornado September 27, 2021

Cerebral Darwinism 

Cerebral darwinism is the theory that the fittest brain cells survive through the process of neurological natural selection.

After all the drugs and alcohol he did in high school and college his friends were amazed that he was still a very intelligent, articulate person but he explained that this was a result of cerebral darwinism and that the brain cells that had survived the various assaults of drugs and alcohol and various head injuries incurred in drunk and drugged out stupors, were the fittest brain cells and were actually super brain cells. Those that didn't make it were eliminated by the process of neurological natural selection.

Cerebral Darwinism by jmspaesq October 30, 2010