Astronology 

The study of astronomers.

Guy: yeah I think he was a famous astro-nomer.
Girl:you mean astronomer?
Guy: No, I mean astro-nomer. The person who studies astronomers. Astronology.
Girl: What the Fuck?! I've never heard of that.
Guy: Well, maybe if your dumbass read up in urbandiction you would.

Astronology by wrecking_d March 4, 2009

Astrology

A practice used to determine people’s personalities from the positions of stars and planets during their birthdays. Although it seems harmless, some idiots have used it to justify their hate for certain people.

Astrology lover: WhEn Is YoUr BiRtHdAy?
Normal person: November the-
Astrology lover: Ew YoUr A sCoRpIo GeT aWaY fRoM mE!!!1!1!
Normal person: What the hell is wrong with you?

Astrology by akt858 August 29, 2020

Astrology

Bullshit

Astrology is bullshit

Astrology by Yaboilongdong November 2, 2019

Astrology

Fake. No you’re not rude because you’re a Aries or Scorpio or whatever the fuck astrologers say.

I’m sorry baby, I’m just a Gemini so I cheat. Please take me back!

No Kelsey, stop blaming Astrology. The way the stars are lined up on your birthday is no excuse for you being an absolute cunt.

Date: Yeah I love astrology it’s totally 100% accurate.
Guy with brain; Ight Imma head out (leaves date)

Guy: I’m a Scorpio and my daily horoscope said that you have to suck my dick
Naive astrologer girl: Really? Ok!

Astrology by Justaguy31 November 30, 2021

portal astrology 

When anxious college applicants believes that any changes in their college admissions portal indicates whether or not they have been accepted or rejected. Commonly discussed about online on college-admissions forums.

"OMG MY PORTAL TEXT SHIFTED ONE PIXEL TO THE LEFT!!!"

"Bro OMG mine didn't. I think you got in!!! I believe in portal astrology"

portal astrology by udcollege March 30, 2021

Astrology

Astrology is a pseudoscience used to predict and explain peoples lives based on the annual location of space rocks.
Often followed and practiced by idiots who have no understanding of physics and how the other planets do not change the outcome of events.
In many cases, when accused of practicing pseudoscience, the astrologer will likely make some claim about how “you believe in evolution and that the moon impacts the tides, so why shouldn’t I believe in this?” The answer simply being that there is actually scientific evidence to support scientific beliefs, and there’s nothing scientific about astrological bullshit.

Idiot: oh, you’d better not sign that contract today, it’s Mercury retrograde rn
Intellectual: I could not care less about your astrology bullshit
idiot: but, but, it means that things will go wrong and you’ll have bad luck
intellectual: no it doesn’t you uneducated addlepate. Go back to school

Astrology by Esrioas July 22, 2018

astropologist

Astropologists are known for defending the actions of the professional MLB team named the Houston Astros. This team cheated its way to a World Series in 2017 using live video feed to steal signs and relay them to the hitter by banging a trash can in their dugout. They bizarrely did not face punishment from the chickenshit weak commissioner of baseball Rob Manfred.

What do you mean stealing signs illegally so the batter knows what pitch is coming didn’t provide an advantage? You’re just an astropologist

astropologist by BangInTrashcansLikeRaccoons August 3, 2020