Aracistotle 

A racist person who tries to rationalize their racism by using amateur philosophy and faulty logic

"Let me ask you something... Do you consider humans and Neanderthals to be the same species? What about humans and homo-erectus? Or better yet, what about Chimpanzees and Bonobos, are they the same species?"

You're like Aristotle's racist uncle, Aracistotle.

Aracistotle by Taiwerica February 4, 2017

The Big Aristotle 

Nickname for NBA basketball player Shaquille O'Neill

Shaquille O'Neill scored a double double against the Knicks, and then got all philosophical with the reporters in the post game interview. He's the Big Aristotle, yo!

The Big Aristotle by dberto April 3, 2009

aristotle tax 

A cost paid by childless people that subsidises the children of others.

Lacie: So, we had 8 adult meals and my 4 kids’ meals so...let’s split the bill 8 ways.
Childless people: Looks like we got fucked on the Aristotle tax again

aristotle tax by Juddles October 7, 2018

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe

A gay book where the entire point is that these two fine Mexican lads struggle with identity and the whole point is that they're gay.

guy 1: have you finished reading chapters 5-6 of part one of Aristotle And Dante Discover The Secrets of the Universe?

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by AxolAtlas February 11, 2021

aristotle

Perhaps the greatest philosopher of his time, and surely one the greatest philosophers of all time. Aristotle was alive in Greece from 384-322 B.C.

Aristotle is well remembered for his development of "logic." Do note that he did not (obviously) invent logic, however greatly influenced its progression.
His format on which he based his logic was used for centuries after his death -- and much is still echoed even today.

Specifically, Aristotle produced provocative arguments and commentaries centering around humanity and human functions. Among them: the singular lifestyle that, if adopted plurally, would yield true and sustained happiness to all -- forever. However, after hearing a lecture on the subject, you truly need not look any further than the utopias and dystopias illustrated throughout literature, such as in "The Giver" or "Brave New World." Aristotle's philosophy on 'true happiness,' perhaps original for its time, has become almost as common as a cliche' and just as easily passed off as "wishful thinking."

However, the beauty of logic is that it never actually needs to be congruent with realism.

Aristotle said:
"The individual, when isolated, is not self-sufficing, and therefore he is like a part in relation to the whole. But whoever is unable to live in society, or who has no need of it because he is sufficienct for himself, must be either a beast or a god."

aristotle by HB <3 SA May 4, 2006

Drunken Aristotle 

Considered as classifying ethics for Western philosophy, Aristotle proposed a system to which one could live a happy life. However, he wrote while sober. Ethics done while inebriated clouds good judgment, thus confounding the possibility for a happy life. The genesis for this typically takes place in bars late in the evening.

Nathan: Man, all that Jagermiester hit me so hard last night I took home my best friend's daughter. It was her 18th birthday last night, you know...

Daren: Man, you totally pulled a drunken Aristotle! That sucks!

Nathan: I know! I can't wait to drink again so it seems OK.

Drunken Aristotle by Lance Greatthrust March 25, 2010

aristotle

A man who wrote philosophical texts that are now used to make college undergraduate philosophy majors suffer intensely.

Aristotle: "...if, however, something comes to be F from being G, where G is opposite to F and G does not remain, we speak in both ways, saying both that something comes to be F from being G and that the G comes to be F..."

Philosophy Major: "I would rather castrate myself than finish this paragraph."

aristotle by Suffering_philosophy_student September 28, 2011