Airplane Insomnia 

A god-awful condition that absolutely prevents a person from sleeping on an airplane. This is usually caused by crappy, itchy seats, obnoxious seating neighbors who think their needs are more important than yours and their spoiled kids, bathroom lines, close proximity to a bathroom, not enough bathrooms in the plane, first class bathroom off-limits to you when there aren't enough bathrooms on the plane, charging actual money for year-old meals on the plane, and making you pay actual money every time you visit the bathroom, making airlines one of the first industries to put the price on a bowel movement.

Ralph sat a row away from the economy class bathroom, thinking about the empty first-class bathroom he'd been physically barred from nearly an hour ago. He'd had to take a shit for nearly an hour now, and the business class bathroom had been occupied non-stop for the entire flight. He decided to sleep, and just when he was about to dream, the fat spoiled brat behind him kicked the seat squeeling because his seat reclined upon his decorated seating space. Ralph realized he had airplane insomnia.

Airplane Insomnia by Nonolith July 13, 2012