A noxious primate all too common in the United States. The Africanus Criminalus primarily resides in inner city habitats. Their females begin their breeding cycles at 12 years of age and continue producing young until they turn 60. They are able to produce large litters of young (commonly referred to as Niglets). They are able to produce these large litters by abandoning there young from approximately eight years forward.

Their males frequently mate with over a dozen females. The male is seldom seen with the female after the fourth month of pregnancy.

The Africanus Criminalus' diet primarily consist of fried chicken, watermelon and malt liquor.

The Africanus Criminalus is a nocturnal animal that typically wakes around noon. They then will then consume malt liquor in the front yards of their nests and mate indiscriminately until nightfall. After nightfall, they will scavenge through cars in the affluent white section of town.

Until the 1960s, it was legal to hunt this species throughout the United States.