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bend and spread

The command Bubba gives in prison when he sees one of his bitches and is in the mood.
"Hey! That honkey over there! Bend and spread 'em, 'cause I'm going in!"
by RTM 1963 May 30, 2023
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U dey take spread

Meaning of you Dey take spread
by Bharry. August 16, 2023
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Get bread spread on

To be flexed on by another person, either through them displaying money or showcasing an expensive item.
"I didn't expect to get bread spread on on today, but when John casually pulled out a wad of cash at lunch, or when Sarah flaunted her new designer watch, it caught me by surprise."
by Gamergmaing66 November 16, 2023
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Mesopotamian Mud Spread

The process of violently shitting your pants, pulling your pants down, then sitting on something/someone.
"Yeah dude, I heard he visited Margaret Thatcher's grave and gave it a good Mesopotamian Mud Spread."
by ZvyezdaVodna October 2, 2024
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when u a lebian and yo girl give you the head. the BEST head imaginable in the cosmos
damn, my girl really gave me the

double tongue spreading cheeks roast beef sucking titty fucking ham flapping carpet munching labia vacuum seal 4000

last night!
by beeflover42069 December 12, 2023
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when u a lebian and yo girl give you the head. the BEST head imaginable in the cosmos
damn, my girl really gave me the

double tongue spreading cheeks roast beef sucking titty fucking ham flapping carpet munching labia vacuum seal 4000

last night!
by beeflover42069 December 12, 2023
mugGet the double tongue spreading cheeks roast beef sucking titty fucking ham flapping carpet munching labia vacuum seal 4000 mug.

Don’t spread on me.

Don’t Spread on Me
A late-night derivative of the historic slogan “Don’t Tread on Me.”

The original meant: Don’t step on my freedom.
Don’t Spread on Me means: Don’t smear your nonsense all over my life.

Three accepted meanings:

1. The Condiment Doctrine 🥜
Your peanut butter is not a public utility.
There’s always that guy who brings nothing to the party but suddenly appears with a cracker like a raccoon with Wi-Fi.
That’s when you pull the jar back and say:
“Easy there, pal… don’t spread on me.”

2. The Burrito Emergency Protocol 🚽
After eating something called the Atomic Volcano Bacon Burrito, you’re in a bathroom stall negotiating with your stomach like a hostage situation:
“Alright body… let’s keep this contained… don’t spread on me.”

3. The Anti-Mansplaining Clause 🧠
You say, “I like astronomy,” and suddenly a guy gives a 20-minute lecture on Jupiter like he’s running the planetarium.
That’s when you cut him off:
“Hey professor… don’t spread on me.”

In short:
If “Don’t Tread on Me” protected liberty…
“Don’t Spread on Me” protects your snacks, your sanity, and your bathroom dignity. 🐍🍞
Examples of “Don’t Spread on Me” in the wild

1. The Dip Bandit
You bring chips and a fresh jar of peanut butter to a party. A guy who brought nothing shows up with a stale cracker and starts excavating your jar like it’s an archaeological dig.
You pull it back:
“Whoa there, Indiana Jones… don’t spread on me.”

2. The Burrito Situation 🚽
Three hours after eating something called the Mega Diablo Truck-Stop Burrito, you’re in a gas station bathroom sweating like you’re defusing a bomb. The plumbing is already making nervous noises.
You whisper to your stomach:
“Easy now… let’s keep this localized… don’t spread on me.”

3. The Barroom Professor
You say you like hiking. Some guy immediately launches into a 15-minute lecture about soil composition and tectonic plates while you’re just trying to drink a beer.
You stop him mid-sentence:
“Buddy… this isn’t the Discovery Channel. Don’t spread on me.”
by Dirty Ging March 6, 2026
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