Curb turtle

After a night over indulging that requires the excavation of your stomach contents while leaning over the curb (or onto the curb) and moving your head and neck in a turtle like motion to avoid vomitting on your own shoes.

Noun- curb turtle
Verb - curb turtled

1. After a number of 6 for 1 beers and hurricanes I curb turtled on the walk home.

2. After a night in Bourbon Street there was curb turtle everywhere.

by Wayoutbaby October 26, 2014

Turtle Burglar

A person who has to poop so badly that others notice. Like a turtle head is about to emerge.

"Why is that old lady fidgeting around like that?"
"She's doing the poop dance because she's a turtle burglar"

by Rock Tomskin & Notorious GREG August 2, 2012

Turbo Turtle

Someone who is extremely slow, yet known to be ingenious. Refers to how amazing they are, but how they could be stupid also.

"I don't get it....."
"You're such a turbo turtle!"

by Bekah Lindow March 21, 2009

Turtle Belt

An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.

I had to grab a turtle belt and run to the bathroom so I didn't stain the new couch.

by Redh00d4 May 3, 2018

Turtle Parade

A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently

I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.

by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018

Turtle Head

When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive

Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.

by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019

Cut The Turtle

“Cut The Turtle” (verb): To get over one’s hangover, by drinking a gin and tonic. Other drinks can also be consumed whilst cutting the turtle. Generally or more often so, spirits.

“Mate, I’m f*cking hungover!”

“You need a G&T mate, you need to Cut The Turtle”

by Larry2017 July 25, 2018