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The Guilt is in the Closet Syndrome

When you buy an article of clothing that, at the time, you "must have" and then end up hanging it up in your closet with the tags still on it and never wearing it. This then results in whenever you look in your closet you feel guilty when you spot that piece of clothing, but yet you still don't want to wear it. One may feel guilt for a number of reasons anything from feeling as if you wasted your money on something you never wear to feeling like you have so much clothes and yet still feel like there is nothing to wear!
Mom-Honey, get dressed it is almost time for school.
Daughter-Mom I can't...
Mom-Look, it isn't that hard all you gotta do is open up you closet door and-
Daughter-No I really CAN'T!
Mom-Why not!?
Daughter-Because...I have the guilt is in the closet syndrome.
Mom-Ooh...I knew you'd never wear that shirt!
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so far in the closet they were sitting on Christmas 

A figure of speech meaning that you are being such a concealed person of the LGBTQIA+ Community (known as "closeted") that your metaphorically sitting on stuff at the back of the closet, AKA seasonal decor. (See also "you should be pretty fashionable with how long you've been in the closet")
"Everyone kept wondering why Alex never talked about their personal life, but we all knew they were so far in the closet they were sitting on Christmas."

in the broom closet 

In The broom Closet is a term for teenagers who practice the craft of Wicca, Witchcraft, Magick, etc. In secret meaning that their family does not know that they practice such arts.

closet rod in the ass 

When a guy lies to a girl and says he is gay so she will quit trying to rhino clam him, but somehow ends up in bed with a guy to prove it.
John: Hey, Stephanie is psycho, you should run away from that freak.

Ed: I am thinking about telling her I am gay so she'll leave me alone.

(two weeks later)

John: Hey Rich, how come Ed's been such a bitch lately?

Rich: I wasn't supposed to say anything, but he ended up taking a closet rod in the ass so he wouldn't get Cathy Bates'd by Stephanie.

John: Really!? What a fag!

the evil monkey in my closet 

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the evil monkey moved out cause my babi sis was messing with him too much. hehehe. then another moved in. then he moved out again. and then once again another moved it.