Dear urban dictionary mods: sorry if this is kinda offensive, I don’t mean it that way. I have black friends. I worked really hard on this so please don’t take it down, Mwah.
Alright kids, imma tell you a story. This doesn’t really belong on the urban dictionary but at the same time I couldn’t think of a better place for it. I first heard this story at the deer lease so those faint of heart should not read on. Thank you for reading, I give you “The Black Afterlife”.
Once upon a time there were three black kids. These black kids were looking for forgiveness for their ratchet and awful sins one day and stumbled upon a preacher. The preacher said that they needed Jesus, so they went off to find him. They arrived at the pearly gates and saint peter told them to wait a second so he could ask Jesus if it was okay to let them in. Jesus said to saint peter, “I told you that all men, white, black, Mexican, Asian, and Native American were created equal. Let them in.” Saint peter went back to the gates and saw that they were gone. He went back to Jesus and told him the news. Jesus asked “Who? The black people?” And saint peter said “No, the pearly gates!”
Thank you for reading!!! Also sorry to the mods if this isn’t really a definition. I could’ve posted this on Reddit or something but I don’t think the fan base likes offensive stuff like this as much as the urban dictionary. Please don’t take it down!
Sincerely,
The Texan Pennsylvanian.
Alright kids, imma tell you a story. This doesn’t really belong on the urban dictionary but at the same time I couldn’t think of a better place for it. I first heard this story at the deer lease so those faint of heart should not read on. Thank you for reading, I give you “The Black Afterlife”.
Once upon a time there were three black kids. These black kids were looking for forgiveness for their ratchet and awful sins one day and stumbled upon a preacher. The preacher said that they needed Jesus, so they went off to find him. They arrived at the pearly gates and saint peter told them to wait a second so he could ask Jesus if it was okay to let them in. Jesus said to saint peter, “I told you that all men, white, black, Mexican, Asian, and Native American were created equal. Let them in.” Saint peter went back to the gates and saw that they were gone. He went back to Jesus and told him the news. Jesus asked “Who? The black people?” And saint peter said “No, the pearly gates!”
Thank you for reading!!! Also sorry to the mods if this isn’t really a definition. I could’ve posted this on Reddit or something but I don’t think the fan base likes offensive stuff like this as much as the urban dictionary. Please don’t take it down!
Sincerely,
The Texan Pennsylvanian.
by The Texan Pennsylvanian February 27, 2022
Get the black afterlife mug.The ultimate metaphysical puzzle: conceiving of a state of conscious existence that is completely non-physical, timeless, and devoid of the sensory and neurological apparatus that currently generates all our experience. What does it mean to "be" without a body, without time, without change? Any description (paradise, void, reunion) is necessarily metaphorical, built from the tools of this life, making the afterlife conceptually ungraspable. It's the problem of imagining the software running without any hardware, forever.
Example: "They promised an afterlife of joy and light. The hard problem of the afterlife kept me up: joy is a neurochemical reaction to achieving goals; light is photons hitting a retina. Without a brain or eyes, what would 'joy' or 'light' even be? It felt like promising a blind man from birth a movie marathon—the words are empty of any conceivable experience."
by AbzuInExile January 31, 2026
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The unsolvable chain of evidence. For a past life memory to be verified, you'd need a documented fact from a deceased person's life that the current person could not possibly know through normal means, and you'd have to rule out fraud, cryptomnesia (hidden memory), and genetic or collective unconscious transmission. For the afterlife, you'd need a verifiable, two-way communication with a specific, identifiable deceased consciousness. The hard problem is that any piece of evidence (e.g., a child knowing a dead person's secret) can be explained by lesser hypotheses (telepathy between living minds, chance, subconscious inference). The signal can never be isolated from the noise of unknown psychic phenomena or pure coincidence.
*Example: A child recalls being a pilot named James who died in a WWII crash, giving specific coordinates. Investigators find wreckage there of a plane piloted by a James. The hard problem: This is astonishing, but is it proof of reincarnation? Alternative explanations include: 1) The child psychically tapped into the collective memory/historical record of the event (clairvoyance, not past life). 2) Extreme coincidence plus confabulation. To prove a past life, you must first disprove all forms of present-life psychic ability, which is itself unproven. The conclusion is always one unproven assumption stacked on another.* Hard Problem of Past Lives & Afterlife.
by Nammugal January 24, 2026
Get the Hard Problem of Past Lives & Afterlife mug.some random person: HEY CHECK THIS LYRICS OUT you: wut the random person:
:I hear the Symphony of the Dead calling out upon your deathbed rising from the afterlife all you're doing is wasting my time every face every life alll slowly lobotomized mornful final resting place for this will be your grave you: wtf
:I hear the Symphony of the Dead calling out upon your deathbed rising from the afterlife all you're doing is wasting my time every face every life alll slowly lobotomized mornful final resting place for this will be your grave you: wtf
by play fnf fire in the hole :) March 10, 2025
Get the I hear the Symphony of the Dead calling out upon your deathbed rising from the afterlife all you're doing is wasting my time every face every life alll slowly lobotomized mornful final resting place for this will be your grave mug.