swoop up and squat down

Not to be confused with the grim "legalese" term for the infamous auto-insurance-fraud procedure, this phrase refers to a totally-positive-and-pleasant action that you employ while interacting with small children. It begins when an eager innocent-minded pint-size comes racing towards you at full speed with a big grin and his arms held out; you therefore hastily reach down and swoop up said hurtling youngster in your arms while simultaneously "doing a quick one-eighty pirouette" to rapidly swing him around with you, as well, so that he doesn't lose much of his accumulated momentum. You then swiftly squat down again and deposit him back on his feet so that he can continue running as if nothing had stopped him or even slowed him down much.

About da only time dat you would not perform a "swoop up and squat down" is if da child either appears to be upset and thus needs comforting, or desires a quickie-cuddle ("To win in life's race, children need plenty of lap time"), in which case you should instead simply sit down and cradle said closeness-craving youngster on yer knee. Be sure to keep in mind, however, dat you may need to spend at least a few minutes at dis endeavor, even if da child merely wants a few seconds of "lovies", since any other observing youngsters in da general vicinity may notice said affectionate clasping and decide dat dey would like a little snuggle-time from you, as well. It's just like if a hot chick is allowing a mushy-hearted fellow to massage her pretty feet, and one or more other nice guys happen by and observe da fun activity; it may cause said girl-loving dudes to experience a sudden misty-eyed craving for cute toes, as well, and so said damsel may therefore be obliged to remain seated there for some time while all of da guys "take turns wif her tootsies", eventually leaving her feet totally "burnished and polished" from having all da callouses rubbed off from her slender soles.

by QuacksO June 8, 2019

squat cobbler

Fetish. A squat cobbler is a person who sits in pie in order to sexually arouse a partner. Often, a squat cobbler will wear a costume and/or cry while performing the fetish. See also: Full Moon Pie, Boston Crème Splat.

Roger enjoyed treating his partner with increasingly elaborate squat cobbler performances, but unfortunately his dwindling budget for premium pies and laundry fees put a damper on the fun.

by w. munny August 20, 2016

squat cobbler

A type of art form that involves a fully clothed person sitting in pies. The performer is also known to cry during the performance.

Also known as a Full Moon Moon Pie, Boston Creme Spat, Simple Sign In The Ass Man, and Dutch Apple Ass.

Jimmy: Mr Daniel Wormald was known for his squat cobbler.

by IJustWatchedThis September 3, 2016

Tamagotchi Squat

It's an Asian squat while playing games on a handheld device.

Every time I see my wife in the kitchen, she's pullin a Tamagotchi Squat.

by David from Cumming February 26, 2024

squat cobbler

The erotic act of a male squatting to dip his genitalia into a freshly baked pie or cobbler.

Clay: "Damn, my balls are sticky and covered in blueberries this morning."
Billy: "Yeah, you got toasted and ended up being a fucking squat cobbler last night."

by TheMaDsQuatter August 30, 2016

Demon squat

Sitting with your feet up by your head

Go and do the demon squat in the corner

by James bucklen May 16, 2016

chocolate squats

Black man standing over white female in downward facing dog dipping his dick in her as he squats kinda like Oreo dipping in milk

Hey bro what's up with those legs? Looks like you been working out!

Oh dude I just been doing my chocolate squats with the wife.

by CR1986 June 6, 2017