The rarest man on the planet. He's hard to find because he tends to be in hiding most of his life. He has fucked so many bitches that he has become immortal and a god. Jizzy Jake cannot walk around in public without having to pry the mouths of many of the hottest bitches off his huge schlong. If you happen to see the rare sighting of Jizzy Jake, take advantage of the blessing and give him the ride of his life, for you might never get such an amazing opportunity....ever.
by thetruthistold November 21, 2010
Get the Jizzy Jakemug. an ugly ass youtuber who thinks dabbing is cool when really he's not cool. Jake Paul's music is also very stupid and he thinks he's cool as fuck
by minhan02 July 8, 2018
Get the Jake Paulmug. A term used by women to describe the "perfect boyfriend." Refers to the character portrayed by Michael Schoeffling in the quintessential 1980's teen movie "Sixteen Candles". Women swoon over this idealized composite of the "perfect guy" but deep down know that one guy cannot possibly possess all of the qualities displayed onscreen by this actor: good looks, wealthy, courteous and respectful to privacy issues (as in where he picks up the "sex test" dropped by Molly Ringwald's character Samantha in which she reveals she wants to do 'it' with Jake; come on, most teen guys would be showing that thing off as a trophy and poor Samantha's psyche would be crushed.)
Only onscreen would a perfect-looking guy dump his super-sexy, shapely girlfriend for a skinny, gawky, freckled younger redheaded woman, who although smart, isn't exactly a head-turner. Yet women idealize Jake Ryan and all he stands for; for them he is their Holy Grail on two legs. Rich, kind, considerate, polite to parents, not a bully, even rescues her from a horrific wedding only to surprise her with a birthday cake for a birthday everyone forgot. Oh, and did I mention that he loves her as much as she loves him?
Thankfully for us there's movies...where we can lose ourselves in fantasy...if only for a while. Even my wife thinks that "Jake Ryan" is the perfect guy.....and that's ok. I always thought that the sister who was getting married in the film, Ginny Baker (played by Blanche Baker) was pretty hot....
Only onscreen would a perfect-looking guy dump his super-sexy, shapely girlfriend for a skinny, gawky, freckled younger redheaded woman, who although smart, isn't exactly a head-turner. Yet women idealize Jake Ryan and all he stands for; for them he is their Holy Grail on two legs. Rich, kind, considerate, polite to parents, not a bully, even rescues her from a horrific wedding only to surprise her with a birthday cake for a birthday everyone forgot. Oh, and did I mention that he loves her as much as she loves him?
Thankfully for us there's movies...where we can lose ourselves in fantasy...if only for a while. Even my wife thinks that "Jake Ryan" is the perfect guy.....and that's ok. I always thought that the sister who was getting married in the film, Ginny Baker (played by Blanche Baker) was pretty hot....
Girl # 1: Oh my God! Look at him, he's so....so...
Girl # 2: He's totally Jake Ryan!
Girl # 1: Yes! (cries)
Girl # 2: He's totally Jake Ryan!
Girl # 1: Yes! (cries)
by Capt. Eric Finlander October 17, 2005
Get the Jake Ryanmug. by FazeKaboos December 15, 2017
Get the Jake Paulmug. A harsher term for retardation, can also be used to describe a fan of YouTube/Vine star Jake Paul the man-child.
by arlosbestfriend August 10, 2017
Get the Jake Paulermug. The type of guy who returns everything but the scarf. Literally doesn't start to date someone if they're over 22. Toxic. Narcissistic. Gaslighter. Non-hygienic.
by crumpled up piece of paper November 13, 2021
Get the Jake Gyllenhaalmug. A complete failure.What happens when the condom breaks. That one guy at the party who wasnt invited and nobody likes. Not even justin beibers mom, who likes everyone.
by Brittain2004 August 10, 2017
Get the Jake Paulmug.