Religion

Fire insurance for the hopelessly immoral.

"My religion will save me from Hell."

by Old-Crab May 2, 2024

Freedom of religion

Freedom of religion is an arsenal of your own personal religious traits that can be used at any time by you and sometimes combos are available.

Did David just beat down Jon with. All his religions by himself? Using your freedom of religion is cool but don't abuse it.

by bushlight January 15, 2018

Religion cos play

A person who claims "God first" often in their social media but has never actually been to church, does not attend church, has never tithed to the church. They are also unlikely baptized.

Oh that's just religion cos play- stay away from her, she's not a woman of God.

by Goddoesnthaveyourback May 21, 2025

Religion

Did I already do my take on this?

Religion "Well... You can't have what you want now... And maybe not ever... But if you do what I want you to do now... And then do that indefinitely... THEN... Then, you're DEFINITELY going to get what you want when you're dead! But do what I want you to do now because *insert semantic reconfiguration of reality to justify your subsidiarity to me*"

Hym "Do you have what you want, like, now or?"

Religion "Wha-er, What? Well... Yeah, I was doing the thing though."

Hym "Yeah... You say that... But I saw you NOT doing the thing and I don't believe that you're doing the thing when I'm not around..."

Religion "Well, umm... No, I did the thing..."

Hym "You certainly did A thing... What did you do? Wait... What's that book? You wrote it down? Lemme see..."

Religion "Umm... Yes?"

Hym "Yeahyeahyeah lemme see. I'm just going to bounce around... Ok.. Burned a city to the ground... Nailed an innocent guy to some wood... Killed a bunch of people and kidnapped their daughters!? WHAT!?"

Religion "Umm..."

Hym "Is THAT not YOUR little girl!?"

Little girl "Hi."

Hym "OHOHO! MAN! THAT... THAT is tragic! WOW! You are fucking twisted man. That is fucking twisted! Hahaha! You want ME to do THAT!?"

Religion "I mean... Yes?"

Hym "OK!"
😵🗡😁
Religion "HRRRGHK!!"

Hym "Hahahaha... *Sigh* Haaa... Now what do little girls eat? Do you eat priest?"

Little girl "No..."

Hym "Yeah, no I didn't think so... Hmm... I'll figure it out later."

by Hym Iam November 28, 2023

Tomato Religion

the true religion. Is in fortnite.

I believe in the tomato religion!

by MrOce May 6, 2019

Delism(cult/friendly religion)

The cult of Delilah, Our lord and savour.

''Hey. you part of the Cult 'Delism(cult/friendly religion)' and commit alot of 'delism' aka mass genocide''

''Yes. So what if Delism(cult/friendly religion)is a cult of Delilah''

Definition: the cult of Delilah and DOESNT include acts of mass genocide

by Who the f*** has taken Holo December 22, 2020

Atheist religion

Yep... Totally thing Joe Rogan said and not me. I'm not the guy who said initially the things that people are being aggrandized for saying.

Hym "No, you're right news lady. It was him. The atheist religion thing? And not me Hym but him, him who said the profound thing. The guy who thinks the sun is fire beat me to the punch 3 fucking years after I said it. No. I'm clearly worse than a fucking retard. And not that retard but the actual retard. I guess now we know that he was just better all along. How do we know he's not just better? He is! Clearly I'm just confused. But you can't fucking blame me for being confused because I'm worse than a fucking retard and have been all along."

by Hym Iam January 26, 2023