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National Slow Friend Day

A national holiday to honor your slowest, dumbest friend
"Happy National Slow Friend Day Elda, from yours truly!"

Date your best friend day 

Date your best friend do the day and they have to say yes on 27th May
You:wanna date for the day bestie
Bestie:Ofc it’s national date your best friend day

National Annoying White Friend Day 

- to celebrate that one white friend who is very racial but like is super funny so you be forgetting abt that racial behavior, but that nigga hella annoying
“Happy National Annoying White Friend Day to my man Jeremy!” - random black kid

Knock-off friend 

A person that isn't treated as anything, but acts the role of being a friend.

When someone isn't regarded as a person, who's feelings are ignored, and who's job is to listen and simply be here because you want to.

Someone who's only purpose is to be a helping friend, but is ignored, mostly emotionally, like they aren't even someone.
Person A: "Who's that guy over there?"

Person B: "Oh, he's Person C's friend. He doesn't really say anything and is only here when Person C needs help. No one really pays attention to him since his only role is to help and not be an actual person."

Person A: "Oh, so he's a knock-off friend."

He's a friend of Kevin's 

1. Spending long period's of time home alone (euphamism for masturbation)
2. Insenuatiing/Calling someone a wanker.
1.
Q. Where's Jonny? I havne't seen him in a while.

A I hear he's made friend's with Kevin.

2.
Q. Have you met Jonny?
A. No, but I heard he's a friend of kevin's

He's a friend of Kevin's 

1. Spending long period's of time home alone (euphamism for masturbation)
2. Insenuatiing/Calling someone a wanker.
1.
Q. Where's Jonny? I havne't seen him in a while.

A I hear he's made friend's with Kevin.

2.
Q. Have you met Jonny?
A. No, but I heard he's a friend of kevin's